Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
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Top comments
13BlackCat 2
why that is the first thing that came to his teacher's mind i don't know. my first thought was cop. i think the teacher has his or her mind in the gutter
shorgenfunkel 0
Go to the school in uniform.
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Comments (252)
meddude 0
#42: haha grammar fail XD
kismaa 0
I wake up in the morning and grab a cup of coffee. I dont immediatly go and make sure no one touched my stuff. How hard would it be for a kid to see them, go oh cool! a toy, then put them in their backpack to show their friends? not very, and itd take a minute. yeah its not a toy but not dangerous either and not irresponsible.
opalitepetals 0
exactly, when I wake up, and i don't have to go to work that day, i would never even think to go and make sure my uniform is still in the exact condition i left it in. I just want to relax because i don't have to work. I would probably think that whole wake up and relax thing would be even more true for a police officer, lol.
elemenopyqrstuv 0
agreed with 15 and 43. lol. also, being a police officer myself- I'd show up in uniform and maybe tell the principal what the teacher said to you! Also, accuse the teacher of handcuffing the child to the desk as a likely punishment. :-D stay safe, brother (or sister).
Shadydeals 0
Should've handcuffed the teacher.
themuffinking 0
What kind of idiot kid brings handcuffs with him, with the intent to handcuff himself to his desk? This sounds premeditated to me.
97currie 0
of course is sounds premeditated, intent is synonymous with that word.
dancin303 0
i agree with number 20 what if it was a gun he got a hold of!?!?! and because this is fml i first thought sex toy but any other time i would of thought cop
PureGold 0
#41-- So true haha....
dnb23 0
#10, 34, 45: Then she'll say, "Please leave your role playing costumes at home, too."
DaelLittle 0
Haha, that's hilarious. Reading the comments I noticed a lot of people accusing the teacher of being a moron, which they are, however the kid is kinda stupid too, handcuffing them self to a desk. No offense to the kid or anything, but I'd handcuff the idiot teacher if my parent were a cop.
fantome_fml 0
Cop or not you shouldn't leave your sex toys lying around XD