Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
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Top comments
13BlackCat 2
why that is the first thing that came to his teacher's mind i don't know. my first thought was cop. i think the teacher has his or her mind in the gutter
shorgenfunkel 0
Go to the school in uniform.
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Comments (252)
bunnygirl 2
it's an fml on their part, not yours
frankleone 0
Aowe Geez
mudkipsan 19
#89: The kind with an attached tabletop.
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
@60, no cop should leave any of his equipment where a kid can get them. I don't care if it's a damn flashlight. @91, that's actually a terrible idea. Using cop handcuffs can lead to loss of circulation and other problems when trying to use them for bondage play. Sex toy handcuffs are designed to be safe in this regard.
had_a_bad_day 0
you clearly havn't had rough sex before
rebockaa 0
#2 just killed me of laughter!
margiemarg24 0
BAHAHAHHAHA
free_Aus 0
Everyone that says handcuffs are not dangerous needs a reality check. They are prohibited items for a reason. Yeah, there is no trigger to shoot someone, but in the wrong hands (a child's) they could be used to cause serious harm or damage. Just like personal body armour, laser pointers, and silencers, handcuffs are not weapons, but can lead to rather iffy situations. That's why they are prohibited. I'm sure all cops have rules about how to keep them stored and this person could have still followed those rules so nobody can say they are being irresponsible without further information. At the end of the day, the kid should have known better.
Iceman101101 0
#20 how is it irresponsible for a cop to leave handcuffs out they can't hurt anyone so it wouldn't be big deal anyway.
mastershake 0
maybe you shouldnt have been a cop. thats the problem right there