Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML
Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, we went to an amusement park, or tried to. My idiot husband stuck his hand under his shirt like a gun and demanded free passes and "all the cash" as a joke. He's banned for life, they escorted us off the premises, and my children are inconsolable. FML
Today, two weeks after giving my daughter-in-law a severe scolding for forcing my son to do chores and babysit the kids on his days off, I went to visit them and found out that they'd changed the locks, so my key no longer works. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
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Top comments
nonsensical 26
Honey, I cuffed the kids.
appygirlify 17
That's gonna be a bit of a mess. :/ Good luck op.
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Comments (56)
appygirlify 17
That's gonna be a bit of a mess. :/ Good luck op.
gosh_mate 30
#1 rule with handcuffs- always have the key safe and present
mds9986 24
Handcuffs are an adult toy, you shouldn't let three kids handle them.
XxDevilxXGt 26
They really aren't difficult in the slightest to get out of without a key. Everyone is overreacting.
184886837272837 32
#50<--- this guy gets it. Handcuffs all have a very simple locking system and are by far the easiest locks to pick. All you need is a paper clip or a hair beret.
vreddyp 10
Ive done it before too.
Dreamsorrow93 24
Well, time to saw off someone's hand.
stingray112 24
Lol I like how it the wife said "my twins" instead of "our twins."
may14th 26
Maybe the husband is their step father?
ColonelCusswords 24
I want to play a game...
MrConcise 35
Pretend is just "liar" for "I ****** up".
johncanact 13
Relax
MrConcise 35
I just let all the muscles in my body go limp, now what?
josace 9
This doesn't make sense. OP didn't say he was pretending. He legitly lost the key. He didn't lie about it at all
nonsensical 26
Honey, I cuffed the kids.
tylercarolinex 21
love this comment:')
hanna_1626 20
Haha this is the best comment I've ever seen!
sprints54 19
Kids can't make a mess if handcuffed to something
SweetSociopathy 24
Handcuffs have universal keys. Just buy another pair and use that key to unlock them- unless you wanna bring your kids by the police department to get them unlocked.
2nd 20
Solid advice. Good luck OP! Also next time dont get anymore handcuffs.
Wakachulak 22
There's a cheaper way. Take something thin and long and push it into the slot where the serrated hand goes into the locking mechanism. Push the latch inward and just open them. Yes, it is really that easy.
Niz_DD 14
Talking from experience?
aruden 25
Cheaper then buying another set of cuffs just go to a police/EMS uniform store handcuff keys are like a dollar unless you want fancy ones for five dollars
Pinkiss_fml 21
Is it a good idea to sell handcuff keys so cheaply?
Wakachulak 22
A criminal who unlocks his handcuffs will at best still be locked in the back of a squad car with two armed cops up front, and I don't think subs opening their cuffs without their dom's approval is a danger to society
jadenjacksonm 14
What made him think that was okay?
Megatron_Griffin 25
You can tighten them up pretty Damn well...I suppose there could be chance they could slip their hands through but it would probably be quite painful for them. Hopefully they've managed to stay calm through the ordeal OP. Good luck
zainman13 26
Yikes !!
sandman676 20
Hahaha funny
jackipdoc 31
He's like an 8 year old himself
daddysgirl243 21
kinda like triplets then