Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML
Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML
Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they'd remembered, my dad's reaction was, "Oh! Really?" My mom's was, "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML
Today, I started my 17th birthday by having to clean my son’s extremely poopy diaper. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML
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Top comments
anon4ever 7
I'm a Marine, and Marines don't get to have cell phones during boot camp. You don't have it that bad. One day of scrubbing toilets won't hurt you. Soon it'll probably be someone else's birthday, and they'll do the same. Good luck in the military, OP.
SauceySarah 30
Can someone explain to me why they made OP do all of that laborious, gross stuff on her birthday? What's the lesson they are trying to convey? Does it teach discipline? Do they not want happiness? Genuinely curious.
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Comments (103)
Queen_of_Night 20
Bitch, I had to sing "Happy Birthday" in the gas chamber.
ThunderFOB 7
Drill Sergeant? The hell? I know you aren't posting this in boot camp.
theRonin 18
How in the hell?!?! When I went to boot camp we had to mail everything back including cell phones (minus wallet with IDs) and the clothes on our backs to our families.
Redlum 7
You created the perfect setting for a lot of shitty puns (couldnt resist) but I'll just keep it at happy belated birthday OP
vishadowpilot 7
You have a cell phone? Wow... You must have it soooooo hard. You sound like WHINEY child... Come back when they smoke you for 4 hours with a Bangalore torpedo and then make you pull double fire guard for your birthday. They may never make a man out of you.
GreyGirl 15
Happy birthday
Arabio95 5
buddy I've had battle buddies worse off then that.
firefighter72 9
i just got done with basic and only had my phone to make a call when i got there phase change and when i was done. I can bull crap. My question is what branch and wheres your basic? Also what company and battalion?
hawkinscampbell 2
not that bad man I'm a marine and I had to do alot worse than that lol and you don't ever tell anyone in your platoon it's your birthday that just opens it up for them to haze the shit out of you lol
Fairyjoshy 13
Why are people bashing the OP for "expecting special treatment" when... A. At no point does the OP say they expected a day off B. At no point did the OP actually inform the drill sergeant about her birthday, he "found out" and C. She DID receive special treatment on her birthday - specially BAD treatment. It makes no sense. If anything, it sounded like the OP just expected a standard day, not a day off, and certainly not a *bad* day. Why don't they make cleaning dishes or bathrooms a communal thing? It doesn't make sense to single anyone out for this - assign it as a normal weekly duty that rotates around between groups.