Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML
Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML
Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they'd remembered, my dad's reaction was, "Oh! Really?" My mom's was, "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML
Today, I started my 17th birthday by having to clean my son’s extremely poopy diaper. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
anon4ever 7
I'm a Marine, and Marines don't get to have cell phones during boot camp. You don't have it that bad. One day of scrubbing toilets won't hurt you. Soon it'll probably be someone else's birthday, and they'll do the same. Good luck in the military, OP.
SauceySarah 30
Can someone explain to me why they made OP do all of that laborious, gross stuff on her birthday? What's the lesson they are trying to convey? Does it teach discipline? Do they not want happiness? Genuinely curious.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
FarrahDragon 3
so i read this to my man (who has family in the military) and he said that extra work like that, cleaning toilets, scribbing floors, etc. they can give you a few boosts in ranks above others because it premotes hard work and dicipline. so as much as it sucked, he probably did it to help you boost in ranks.
Wickedwildjoker6 2
Welcome to the military. Be glad you could post this to the Internet.
Art3miz 3
Hey thanks for your service.
PegLegRacing 34
This is a 100% made up FML for attention.
Stuffaluffagus 25
Just one more reason I'll never be in the military
itasgnr 4
never ever tell anyone it's your birthday until a week later.
Alderez 3
Army here. Did scrubbing those pots suck? Did those walls seem like they hadn't been cleaned in months?. It shows why you should be respectful of all facilities. Leave a toilet filthy, or piss in a shower and someone else has to clean up your laziness. That is the lesson you should learn.
DoomedGemini 38
There's nothing indicating op does leave a mess?
thebrewingstorm 13
Its character building
chewsef 17
One of the first questions I got in boot camp "do you have a license ?" My reply was yes..... "Here's a broom, drive this" Keep your head low and stay off the radar.
rittz93 17
I didn't get my cell phone during basic...times have changed I see. For real though, get used to it. this won't be the last birthday the green weenie gets you. I spent my 21st guarding an empty storage container. Trust me it doesn't get any better bud.