Today, I had to ask my sister if she'd shit her pants because the smell of poop was following us around Paris. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I had to ask an eighteen-year-old, or that she said yes and didn't do anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML
Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
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Top comments
Soverain 15
What were you guys doing that she ended up ******** herself? Did she tell you why she didn't mention her accident? There are so many questions, OP.
sarcasmismyno1 22
It's very common to have gastric distress while traveling. What I don't get is how come she did nothing about it.
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Comments (45)
manofmerr 27
Guess what i am!!!!! Thats right, im one of those people that get to say FIRST...LY, thats gross, and i would love to know how the paris natives reacted? "Those damn smelly tourist are coming around again." Almost makes me want to learn french. Almost.
manofmerr 27
Damn, the thumbdowns happened fast. Oh well, i had my fifteen seconds:)
dtut 15
Don't worry i just gave you your 15th disklike
Soverain 15
What were you guys doing that she ended up ******** herself? Did she tell you why she didn't mention her accident? There are so many questions, OP.
Mauskau 36
My sister did the same thing, when she was 4. My family were queuing for the log flume and she needed the toilet, as they were near the end of the queue they told her to wait. Once on the ride, they went down one of the drops and she said "it came out". I was a couple of months old at the time but I definitely remember watching my mum trying to clean her shitty underwear in the sinks. For some reason the gift shops sold Disney pants so my sister got some new pants. But once you reach your teens you're less likely to admit you shit yourself, because well, why would you want to?
Jurbla 14
Yeah, if I had to guess she just had a digestive issue that day that she just couldn't make it to the bathroom in time and then spent the rest of the day desperately hoping no one would notice until she got back to the hotel and could fix it against all logic, since who wants to own up to that embarrassment?
cootiequeen4444 11
#28 if you were only a few months old then you were just a baby..those were likely false memories based on the story you were told later in life... nobody remembers being a bloody baby... I'm not even sure if any of those people with extreme memories like Mary Lou Henner (sp?) remembers being a baby..
icefishbaby 14
#28 Can infants actually go on log flumes? That seems dangerous.
Namenlos_fml 20
It could have been that the sister couldn't find a bathroom with which to address the problem. OP and the sister are tourists; and something I noticed about Paris my first time visiting is that locating a bathroom from off the street can be difficult.
cooldragon78 16
Well seems like you had a shit day.
a_sales 12
More like OPs sister had a shit day
socialproduct 19
"elle merde son pantalon. dégoûtant" -Some French Guy
chrisbeaudoin 26
"Hon hon hon, quelle merde pour t elle." -other french people
minissaussette 25
Honestly guys, you're not fooling anyone. Either you're both French and can't spell correctly. Either you're not French and trying to sound cool. -Actual French girl
socialproduct 19
I suppose I'm the "trying to sound cool" option. In case you haven't heard - in America, we don't deduct points for spelling, apparently.
Arkham_Callabero 15
omelette du fromage
ZaiopePerSe 15
Pretty sure they're just making fun of the language
YFOS_fml 17
that's nasty!
Rodville 28
Am I the only one that heard that in Cleveland's voice?
fishinpink 20
#38 ditto
sarcasmismyno1 22
It's very common to have gastric distress while traveling. What I don't get is how come she did nothing about it.
writerchic85 26
Don't they charge you money to use the bathrooms there? Maybe she tried to hold it to save money and couldn't.
liloh_fml 11
idk how things are in france but here in germany most public bathrooms are free to use. at trainstations or roadhouses you have to pay 50 cents or one euro to use the bathroom. so not that much money.
countryb_cth 38
Yes you have to pay some places in Paris however it's something like 25 or 50 cent Euros which isn't much at all. So the savung money exuse is pretty weak and not justifiable to shit your pants at 18.
Procryon 10
Oh my, I can't even think of a joke for this one. That's just nasty.
aerith105 14
Jesus Christ that's gross. like how did she send up ******** herself? and why the hell didn't she do something about it?? like just why