Today, while working as a hotel guard, I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes, I realized he was dead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, while working, I saw a man napping under a tree. He was still there 3 hours later. Turns out he was dead. FML
Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
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Top comments
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
That's terrible :( Poor man, dying alone in the grass.
bamagrl410 31
No, but the muscles can become stiff and "freeze in place". I can't believe it took OP ten minutes to realize he wasn't responding.
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Comments (139)
notsoluckypup 12
ouch...I saw that coming ...
Olay_JnAY 0
next time brush your teeth.
Jonscarl 0
at least he died happy.
drm82895 0
At least hes not asking you to "spare some change"...
scottie91 0
"Goodbye Blue Sky"
Penguincrap69 0
First of all, he was homeless. Where would he go if he wasn't dead? So you are a dousche for that. Second of all you deserved it. I really hope he was Christian. God be with him, and if he has any, his family and friends to.
littlemissalex 3
I respect the whole Christian part of your post, and I feel the same about that, but a homeless person shouldn't be on private property. OP was doing his job by kicking him out (or trying to, anyway), and shouldn't be faulted for it.
ajmb88 0
that sucks
roomforactivitie 2
why didn't you have your way with him?
fmlskeff 0
I was lying down in the grass, resting my head, finally getting some due peace after a hard and short life. Never receiving an oppourtunity to shine, my fate was to be distrusted and alone. But my faith was strong, and upon entering sleep on a rising alcohol level, my breath stopped and I smiled as I knew I would see my father and the hardship would end. Departing from my body, a man comes up and shouts his final abuse to me. FML
novert7531 0
Im sure you like a 10 year old making this up