Today, while working as a hotel guard, I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes, I realized he was dead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, while working, I saw a man napping under a tree. He was still there 3 hours later. Turns out he was dead. FML
Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
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Top comments
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
That's terrible :( Poor man, dying alone in the grass.
bamagrl410 31
No, but the muscles can become stiff and "freeze in place". I can't believe it took OP ten minutes to realize he wasn't responding.
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Comments (139)
Cass3m0 0
I'm trying to imagine this dead hobo, and I keep on coming up with a drunken, dead face. He died happy. :3
kindlystfupls 0
wow. that really sucks. poor hobo.
morgy8599 0
looks like youre going to have to move him now!
W4X 0
Dead Hobo is Dead.
macskapingvin 0
So not only was he trespassing and ignoring you, but he was also dead? What a nerve! How DARE he?
DocBastard 40
So I guess he stiffed you on your tip? Too bad you weren't more rigorous in your attempts to move him earlier. To cheer yourself, I'd go die my hair and listen to some Styx for heaven's sake.
wwerulez14 6
OP: "I swear to god, I'm gonna come over there and wipe that ******* smile off your face!" Hobo: "..............." OP: "That's it; I'm gonna rip that smile off your face and beat you to a bloody pulp and then I'm gonna..... What the ****? He's already dead?......"
zombiedoll 0
Hah! Doc, I agree. What a DEADbeat! I wonder if OP was offended by his fRIGIDness when he didn't respond?
andytheandy 0
about as fake as your sex life
Zebidee 9
And THIS is the best alibi you could come up with under pressure?
ryan4919 0
I respect that reality!
Falken45 0
u killed him!!