Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
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Top comments
sjks 0
i think saving a life might be a reward
haweb 0
agree with everyone else. So you had to deal with an unappealing part of your job. I think it's worth it if it means saving someone's life.
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Comments (128)
MK1029 0
awefdqwd
repyourcliche 0
exactly...
MK1029 0
Sorry, I was choking.
hecuva 0
Quick! puke in someone's mouth it'll help :)
hady9090 0
Your reward? Knowing that you saved his life.
Miss_Represented 0
Your a good person! :)
gray089 0
he can't exactly control it, he freaking choked!!!
zackmx99 0
lol 15 and so true 32
sjks 0
i think saving a life might be a reward
FarSide 23
Really. What a selfish bitch. He gave you everything he had.
TheTruth1428 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I agree, OP is a selfish bitch. You saved a life, that's one of the best things you can do for another person. Hopefully you choke on something sometime and while you're choking someone comes up to you and says, "Gee, I'd save you, but I want a reward. Doesn't seem like anyone here's going to give me one, so later, enjoy death." You should quit your job as well. No one wants a shitty nurse that's only doing their job for a paycheck.
Starayo 1
OP is a man.
drano 0
who said he wasn't?
MagicMeds 0
wtf? how is it a shitty nurse just because he doesn't appreciate that he got vomited in (not on, in)? And the OP never said they expected a reward, that was metaphorical AND sarcastic... dumbass
iwuvwolfz 0
first off who uses crp to
iwuvwolfz 0
sorry first off who uses CPR to get stuff out? you use the hulmulch maneuver/J thrust(sorry don't know how to spell it)to clear the throat? Second if you do the J thrust,you should expect throw up
ZTB13 4
As a nurse you should know that vomiting after receiving CPR especially after choking is a very common thing. Hence the reason they gave masks that allow air through one way but not anything (in your case vomit) back through the other way or you cans always tilt the head slightly away from you just in case you anticipate such an event...
starberries 0
143, shut up until you know what you're talking about.
twinkle_nipso_O 0
here here!
MrCatman1125 2
Number 70, she wasn't being selfish just because of feeling bad for having a mouthful of semi-digested shit. She saved a ******* life ( or he ) what a bitch ay? She tasted another persons vomit, I don't expect you'd be a jolly little bastard then, would you?
MrCatman1125 2
There should be a comma before ay, I know.
MelonLord1544 11
Let's see you save a choking man and get vomited, it's not selfish to save a man who's choking you know...
Darksect0r13 0
Gahh i can't think of anything witty to say :/
Sun_Kissed18 25
Well that stinks. Get it? Stink? Vomit? No? Oh well, I tried :)
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Don't worry, I suffer from that all the time. I always think of witty comments twelve minutes past the appropriate time to respond. Such is my life.
iplaymw2 0
u gave the gift life and if that shou not be rewarding then nothin iz
MK1029 0
ohmyword08 0
bad things happen to good people ?
swanlee 0
Uhh being a nurse you should know that these types of things happen during CPR when a person wakes, it's not like this person being brought back from death suddenly had a thought that they should throw up on you it just kind of happens. some nurse you are
Butterbuns 1
So because the OP's a nurse he should be okay with getting a mouthful of someone else's vomit while trying to help them? I'd love to see what you would do in their position, man. If you're okay with other peoples puke *in your mouth* I'm afraid of what else you're okay with.
mrquicknet 0
I'm assuming if you were a nurse you'd know that is a pretty likely outcome from CPR. It sucks but that would be like a janitor whining about having to clean up after other people. Its part of the job.
plexico 4
My wife nearly choked to death in March. I saved her with the Heimlich Maneuver. My reward? I get to keep her. You got the better deal.
hecuva 0
LOL.. carefull... they don't call it the Heimlich Maneuver anymore, something like "abdominal thrust maneuver" now i think, just wanted to warn you as there are some crazy people on this site....
plexico 4
I had heard that the Heimlich family complained. **** 'em.
TheBigDawg 8
Seriously? Why would a family complain that their surname is attached to a potentially life-saving tactic?
plexico 4
TheBigDawg, They're probably complaining because they ain't gettin' no money from it. I don't know why the Alzheimer family isn't complaining,or any of those whose family name is associated with something horrible.
Butterbuns 1
So you'd be okay with someone puking in your mouth because you were giving them CPR?
haweb 0
agree with everyone else. So you had to deal with an unappealing part of your job. I think it's worth it if it means saving someone's life.
GabbanaGirl 0
god I hate girls with ugly ass pics of themselves! bitchy hoars! your not ******* hot bitches!
MagneticGuitar 0
Atleast he didn't do it deliberately.
noobienick 19
Or did he?