Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working as a hotel guard, I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes, I realized he was dead. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he sat down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML
Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML
Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML
Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
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Top comments
gogo_speedracer 0
Awww! It was nice of you to listen for 10 minutes!
omega802 0
awwww he likes u
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Comments (128)
firstdbzmaker 15
wow
Mickay1232 0
wow that sux srry op :(
yasmeenjonasx3 0
sing "ive got sunshine, on a cloudy day!"
GiddyXD 0
mehh.
foork 0
sorry that was my dad...
281go 4
Well could have been worse... he could have humped your leg.......
Kimberly_Isabel 7
ydi. u asked If he was okay and he in a way said he was not and told u his problems.
BananaSticker 0
YDI for being nice.
Sharpie23 7
No good deed can go unpunished.
jearojas 4
That sucks, but it was very nice of you though.
kassieparis 8
aw poor man. he should go down to social services or something. or like a charity for homeless people. x
noscope_ftw 0
well y ask if he's ok if u don't care?
BananaSticker 0
So, wait.. You were out running, probably going back to your house afterwords [ya know those building with electricity, food, beds, toilets, a roof] and YOUR life is ****** all because you decided to ask a homeless man, who has none of that, if he was okay, and you had to listen to the poor man talk about his life for a few minutes? I'd say your life is ******, but only because your selfish and obviously careless. ....That is, unless he was a druggie. :o
iSitt 0
why didn't you put his story here on fml?
Arsonnist 3
He should have peed on you. Weather wouldn't have been so nice then.
kellanlvr 1
yay for nice weather :) but op you never go up to middle aged men on streets haven't you seen horror movies tsk tsk
AliceSaysFYL 0
You should have just gave him money
BananaSticker 0
^^^ but what if he was a druggie? then he'd just use it for crack. he shoulda at least bought him food.
956TXking 0
can I have a sticker lol
thatwasobvious 0
Runandmope is a conceited ****. Someone complaining to you does not make your life ****** in any way. and really, if he can complain for 10 straight minutes, I'd say HIS life is ******, not yours. and that is all that should ever need be said about this post. the end.
YourEvilHero 12
would of ghetto stomped his face
apefaceddog 0
Wait, so just because somebody is worse off than you, your life can't be ******? There's probably someone suffering from starvation out there, or someone hopelessly stuck in academia. But then, regular people can't have FMLs because they're not the worse off, yeah! Such reasoning is pathetic. It almost sounds like you think the OP has some sort of moral obligation to the homeless man.
JMWHS 0
didn't you ever learn not to talk to strangers?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Oh FFS, let's not start the whole "giving to the homeless vs. feeding addictions" thing again. ò.ó I took the "near a condo" part to indicate that the stranger didn't look homeless, moreso like he didn't make it to the front door after a night of partying or something. Hence the concern on OP's part.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Shit, I somehow missed the word "business" before "condo" on the first read-through. >.< Still, for some reason I picture a guy crashed out in a business suit, having an existential crisis about his going-nowhere life. Maybe that's just less depressing to me than a homeless guy. Or maybe I watch too many movies.
Avenger_fml 0
my comment for this post is LMFAO. kbai
theComment 0
84-Your white, your not allowed to ghetto face stomp people.
LMFAOwned 9
Lol I bet the whole time he was video recording under your dress or something xD Hobos are getting smarter everyday.
LMFAOwned 9
And yes, I know he's a guy:)
YouCantBreakMe 9
EEEEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! @12 has GINGER CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brittneyyyy 7
You have 2 legs, right? You should've kicked him with your other one. Jk that's mean, but at least the poor man had someone to talk to.
Mickay1232 0
F you #115 who gives a crap if they have orange fur!!!! they're awesome and u suck
ekstraxz 0
THE IRISH JANE DOE NEEDS TO DIE
MeAlec 1
you should carry a baton with you so the next time that happens you can bash him on the head
TeeHee124 0
Why'd you talk to a sleeping person?
lailax3 0
lol :)
averagepurson 2
are you kidding me??? youre saying 'fml'???wow his life is f'd but you think yours is? i oughta find you in yo bed sneak up on ya put a bullet in yo head
heyjenn 0
ydi for talking to someone
hsshae 0
why didn't you keep running or kick him?
omega802 0
awwww he likes u
khosa 0
dont speak unless spoken to ;)
MissCindy_fml 0
ydi for even botherig ask.
loserboii 11
don't act so "shaken"
Save_Bandit 5
was it sunny?
Rose3986 2
So how horrible was his life???