Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
poopy910 8
That is terrifying.
br0ccoli 15
Creep. It's Taser time. Tell her to get off your nuts.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
kevinn95 0
How would he know??? This is the first time he noticed her -.-
ohgoud 1
Looool
murphy95 4
that makes NO SENSE at all. nice try.
megamandude455 10
Buy the best thing you can think of. That'll show that bitch
MDTeddy 13
Now you know to hide everything you buy.
affamigo13 1
CREEPER!!!
PoppaSoda 5
Ha bizza, ha bizza!
thatsucks77 0
That is just creeps
PoppaSoda 5
Are you sure she exists? That's the vibe i'm collecting here.
Britt125 16
There are some weird people out there, pathetic and weird... and creepy. It would have been weird had she not said "what you never noticed me before?" that just made it extremely creepy. How long has she been following you without you noticing, and does she follow you around more than the mall? How else would she know that you're there to follow...or does she just spend way too much time at the mall? Perhaps she wouldn't need to follow you around to see what you're buying and buy better things if she had any sort of a life whatsoever. I'd not be able to sleep wondering what the heck was going on with this creepy lady.