Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex. With my stuffed turtle. On my bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was him, I ignored it. Just when I was about to climax, I looked down to see a lizard on me. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I was having some sexy time with my boyfriend, when suddenly he jumped out of the bed, screaming. Not having my glasses on, it took me few seconds to understand that a voyeurist cockroach was in the bed with us. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
incorporate them
Mirorbo 27
Save the sex for at home, darling. Or a hotel/motel room! Anywhere else and you're BEGGING for trouble!
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Comments (195)
ollierobs 0
OP forgot to lock the cage him and said girlfriend were in, not the salamander's.
manbearpig7173 0
Did you continue to give them a reason to stay?
random_name2 1
@RavenNight ummm...any guy whose girlfriend will let them?
KyraAlcor 0
lollz i second this entirely
EZ2XLR8 7
That's wrong and also somewhat disrespectful of the business. The janitors room will smell like sex and if they smell perfume or febreeze or whatever... everyone will then be questioned and you're the only one with the answer. You really don't have self-control do you? YDI all the way.
CuCuKitty 4
Dumbass-.-
HomeAl0ne 20
Ooh yeah baby, that's nice, touch me there! A little harder, harder. Mmmmm. Now, play with my axolotl. Wait....what the ****...!!!
chelseaaababyyy 17
maybe dont have sex at work ?
budbad8 0
great reply
chelseaaababyyy 17
cool..
kelixo24 0
102, the salamanders most likely crawled through the crack under te door. OP's probably not that stupid.
corrinaswan 0
aren't you smart