Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML
Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML
Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML
Today, at three in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
Today, my phone started ringing in the other room. I ran to go pick it up, tripped over my coffee table which gashed my leg, and knocked over my brand new 50" LCD TV, which broke over my head. Turns out it was a wrong number. FML
Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML
Today, while in the shower, I heard my phone buzz. Expecting an important text, I leaned out to check it. I slipped, hit my head on the sink, and ended up stuck in the most awkward position possible with one leg in the shower and the other out. My roommate had to rescue me. FML
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML
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Top comments
gigi_bella 0
Wow, fail on your part. :)
Freeze_fml 17
That was extremely unfunny.
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Comments (161)
gigi_bella 0
Wow, fail on your part. :)
gigi_bella 0
*mocks idiots* I WAZ FIRST AND U WAZNT!!1!1!!!1!! HAHAAHAH!!1!1!!!1!
craigkid 2
I don't judge that's what my room looks like
Drew_V 0
Gratz
beau11 0
haha that's wat my room looks like too
gigi_bella 0
You buried my first comment. Bitches. :D
ReyEr9412 0
*IRONY*
gigi_bella 0
I feel stupid. :)
ydiftw 0
Smooth
gigi_bella 0
Where did my comment go, anyway? Did it disappear into cyberspace?
isroc 0
so what.....
xdrayray 0
Oohh
StoryOfTheYear 15
don't worry Gigi you've made up for it times 2
CharliePoops 0
YDI for having a dirty ass room. clean up your pig's sty.
trizzieb 0
damn slippery jeans!
pirace 0
wuts the big ******* deal? wut is so FML about a dirty ******* room and being told to clean it? wut r u a ******* 5 year old?
Emmmmm55 0
I hate when pol burie ur comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
72- the fact is, it's the irony, I thought it was worth reading, I really don't care of the fml is truly an FML!!! as long as it entertains me, way to be pessimistic
MF12 0
I hate it wen ppl typ lyk dis.
boopityboppity 11
Does anyone know what 74 was trying to say?
ravensunnyd 0
why'd you put jeans on?
woofis 0
so?
bezach 0
did you say first?
connor6982 0
ha keep ur room clean idiot
lyssannexo 1
mom knows best. ;]
massagenist 0
this fml is too long. they dont even need to put the sex of the op on fmls anymore. all the emo fmls and long moodyand dramatic replies are by women or girly men, its obvious.
Austino713 0
bad karma!!
hollisterlover 0
ydi for rushin..it's not the end of the world if u don't answer cause u can just call back!!
Peacemaker9 7
lol all that for answering a phone call from ur mom? that's funny
yogibear777 0
ur life is definatley ruined I can't imagine being u
StoryOfTheYear 15
107- I see the sex of the OP just fine... shows that pink angled down arrow representing female, If anything your pic is emish, I find these fml's quite humerous
StoryOfTheYear 15
emoish*
DavidCooksAngel 0
I don't understand, why people don't pick up after thier self. it really is not that hard. you make mess, pick up when your done. it takes about 30 seconds to clean up after your self, if you pick up when your done. YDI for being a slob.
focusf111 0
sounds like op is a big whine ass, get over it
twist_of_fame93 0
are you sure ur not just a highly trained monkey. and if ur relaxing just ignore the Dam call. or a least b pruden enough to put the phone on silent
paran01d_andr01d 0
Sorry you dislike women so much. You obviously have not had the good fortune of meeting any. Good luck with ever attracting one with any sort of self-respect or intelligence. Then again, you probably couldn't handle that. You should probably stick to other men or women that require a bicycle pump!
paran01d_andr01d 0
^Response to 107s comment
pirace 0
hey 75 get a life and a new favorite band
Beavers18 6
ydi for living like a pig.
wafflebot 0
Hey! that's offensive to pigs >:/
boopityboppity 11
Way to call yourself an idiot... Oh well. Self-deprecating humor is the best kind.
boopityboppity 11
Ahem. FML seems to dislike me, so I'll repost my comment. Way to call yourself an idiot... Oh well. Self-deprecating humor is the best kind.
afatmonkey 0
That reminds me of a time I was working at a farm, and my job was to feed the pigs. After I poured the slop into the trough, a completely nude homeless man jumped out the slime, grabbed a pig and farted a sparkly blue flame that launched him into the air, disappearing in the clouds. When I told my boss, he muttered, "My whole life I've been waiting for this...." and looked up at the sky reverently.
paigeatsflesh 11
^^^^ you are so funny like I swear to god I'm crying xD
Freeze_fml 17
That was extremely unfunny.
ElMetalero 0
@afatmonkey. dude that is hilarious haha what farm was it I wanna go see that
afatmonkey 0
I cannot tell, for then I would face- THE GLOVE! (mysterious music plays in backround)
blaaaaakely 0
I agree with 44.
MrTeabag420 0
how is this an fml? like seriously you fell out of bed. big ******* deal. stop bitching.
kenny696 0
Yeah, watch out for those slippery jeans.
StoryOfTheYear 15
rofl 13
IxRxSK8R 0
i love you paigeatsflesh... and you too afatmonkey.. I once farted blue stuff!
awesumnes 0
Haha... Funny...
Evelien87 0
Um.. yeah your life totally sucks now.
craigkid 2
fml sucks lately. texts from last night is still strong though
paigeatsflesh 11
I know... ohh you tripped over a boot and banged your wittle knee. you want kisses now? get over it.
rhanana 0
and why were they "day dreaming" with no pants on, and on top of that why would they rush to pick up the phone yet stop to slip on jeans? o_O
unpossible 26
There is nothing to indicate that the OP wasn't wearing pants; the OP slipped on jeans like most people slip on banana peels. rhanna, if you were just being cute with your comment, I'm sorry for elaborating.
unpossible 26
I'm also sorry for the user name typo. That sneaky middle "a" got away from me.
pogostick_fml 2
unpossible: I think rhanana interpreted the FML as the OP putting on a pair of jeans (slipping on jeans). That's what I thought at first but realised that he meant that a pair of jeans on the floor made him slip.
unpossible 26
No kidding? That's what I figured too. Then I thought maybe rhanana is capable of understanding double entendre and was just cracking a cute "no pants" joke. Wow, I used cracking and "no pants" in the same sentence; good job, me!
sid396 0
wow. eeewwwwww
chicagoowns 0
clean ur room, shit
pirace 0
wuts the big ******* deal? wut is so FML about a dirty room and being told to clean it? wut r u a ******* 5 year old?
chicagoowns 0
it's stupid rly idk why u replyed to me when u werent even talkin to me
xSPiDERPiGx 0
dun u jus h8 it wen peeps tlk lyk dis
11bellacasey 0
lol I can't believe how stupid some people are
Metzler31 17
well um yeah just clean it up... my room is always clean cause I can't stand when it's dirty.
Twichl 4
And I thought I was crazy!
i_luv_dogs 10
Me too
thatfeelsright 0
oh sorry. Hope your bruises feel betta
11bellacasey 0
just ******* clean ur room. ******* cleaning lady :)
samantha_durano 6
launguage!
boopityboppity 11
The irony here being, of course, that it's "language."
samantha_durano 6
woops.
boopityboppity 11
It's alright. The purpose of that wasn't to make fun of you (I apologise if this was how it was perceived), but just to point out something I thought was funny. Stay classy!
ScaryyMary 14
Uh... that's my normal wake-up routine. I wouldn't be able to function without tripping over yesterday's dirty laundry and stubbing my toe on my Docs every day. It's better than coffee ;D