Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xAkonz 10
I think it's up to the god Uranus rather than the brain gods.
Ian7890 23
Maybe she will pluck yours?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
badgirl00069 19
I guess u know u really love someone when ur willing to do anything for them
that_band_nerd 22
Thanks for sharing it!
Brock_Dudeson 11
Why would she even confess this? What's the point?
Schiffy 18
You and everyone who read this..... thanks alot....
worldclassrager 41
Why would she tell you that...that's kind of personal.,,
livilaughs 12
love the use of the word confessed here! strange
young_weezy_fml 3
whaaat
jonha21 11
Hahahaha can she pluck mine to will I take a shit :)
LyraAlluse 25
Such a touching and romantic story. This is the kind of stuff that they should put in romance novels, because it is true love. Think about it; you would only pluck out the butt hairs of someone you really care about. I find this story to be very cute.
inolongercare 19
1) why would someone want their butt hairs plucked? 2) what would compel her to tell you that information?