Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
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Top comments
xAkonz 10
I think it's up to the god Uranus rather than the brain gods.
Ian7890 23
Maybe she will pluck yours?
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Comments (53)
maximus_prime 24
And that was the last time OPs step-dad stayed out late drinking beer and chasing loose women.
onorexveritas 24
lol, the brain gods, I like that xD
perdix 31
Why did she stop? Without your mom's ass-hair plucking, I'll bet your step-dad's anal garden has grown wild and is sprouting out of control. How's that for another mental image?
Broc831 6
oh dear lord why implant that?! now I need to pluck THAT from my memory...
doodlecloud 27
People pluck butthair? Surely if you have any it'd be a thin layer rather than a few thick hairs. I would've thought shaving or Nair would work better...plucking sounds like it would take ages...*shudders*
SirMichael 13
Actually it can grow pretty wild back there.
doodlecloud 27
Isn't that even more reason to shave/wax/Nair though? I mean, you wouldn't pluck your pubes out individually would you? That would take aaages and probably be quite painful too.
laden_swallow09 35
Nair hurts. Bad. It even says on the back label to NOT use it on or around the genital or perianal regions.
candy29 10
I don't know why but my first thought was that they were talking about butthole hair... eeeeek.
drwerewolf2013 17
Why? Just why wud she tell such a thing?????
Californialuvv 7
that's love.
Ayanpatel95 7
There are no brain gods, lol
Whatapuffchild 23
why would she tell you that?!
unknowndevil 6
I didn't even have to read the FML, the name says it all!