Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML
Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML
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Top comments
Kromcakes 9
Oh that's nasty.
Bloodcalibur 13
Time to burn down the house. No other options.
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Comments (53)
Kromcakes 9
Oh that's nasty.
corporatescoundr 25
Yeah... Probably the only thing I think nastier than pulling thick hair out of a drain...
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
If that happens, you run.
starile 20
This is absolutely HILARIOUS!
niftyhasdelulz 12
The first thing I thought of when I read the first half of the sentence of this FML was 'the grudge'. That movie has ruined me.
siggy_mcsigx 22
43 The Grudge definitely came to mind!
illusong 16
Reading this FML give me the chills from head to toe
evilamoebaattack 20
how not The Ring???
MortenM 17
Supernasty those roaches. Hope you squashed it
NellieeNell 18
Haha! I read your comment in Cleveland's voice.
niftyhasdelulz 12
#55 because The Ring isnt half as scary.
rdenkewicz 11
If only it were a hair.
redstone7693 29
did anyone else think of the grudge when they first started reading?
kaceyma 5
yes^
MeanBeagle 22
dead or alive?
MisterEx 28
Alive. The flying type.
ktm71125 19
I squirmed at the thought of it. FYL
Bloodcalibur 13
Time to burn down the house. No other options.
KayyKaylyn 14
100% agree
atlernick0 6
And the whole block. Just for good measure. Better safe than sorry
thespiantess 18
Stuff like this is what atomic bombs were made for.
Lct1196 31
Nope. They'll survive the radiation. Jeez, haven't you watched ANY post apocalyptic movies?
DiamondGirlj 18
Maybe burn the state down.... You know, you don't want Any more nasties
skittycat213 19
And send reinforcements to mars! Thank you Terra Formars
GRubi 17
I hope THAT didn't come from your sister.
thinblue32 15
Oh god haha I feel sorry for you.
KayyKaylyn 14
Holy sheez that gave me the heebyyy jeeebyyyys ewwwwww lol
enddmd 27
I'm curious as to why OP had to point out a single hair in the drain to his sister. Women's hairs go down drains all the time; you cannot prevent it.
devildog562 33
Right. I know from experience that women's hair always ends up in drains and pile up.
Clawsified 6
Men's hairs, by contrast only go down the drain sometimes and can be prevented.
Im2Shy 16
Reading this honesty made me cringe and hold back vomit. Sorry op but this is like a horror movie to me, cockroaches and worms are two things I'm VERY afraid of.
BooEmz 9
I like how you're getting downvotes for no reason. Lol. FML is harsh. I did something similar once when I was ten, thought there was a hair in my sink drain, then realised it was a roach as I pulled it out. Cried and made my dad kill it. I feel your grossed out vibes, hahah.