Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
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Top comments
xAkonz 10
I think it's up to the god Uranus rather than the brain gods.
Ian7890 23
Maybe she will pluck yours?
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Comments (53)
Kat7595 10
In what circumstance would she think that information would be useful to you??? Ugh....
Kc1001 14
Uranus unlucky as you could have been. could have walked in on it.
chuckcloninger 12
Not a chance of that image ever fading. At all.
How_you_doin 10
I don't see the problem? Maybe it's their way of foreplay ;) kinky!
AshAsh014 4
Ew.
misataylor86 10
Did you tell her it would be a lot faster to just shave them? Haha!!
Michael_A_Seay 12
this reminds me of the new Chipotle's Wrath video on youtube...lol
WeskersSexslave 15
you might want to pluck that memory from your brain
usernameunkn0wn 18
Hopefully she didn't find anything attached to said hairs.
JadeWinter 16
Is obnoxious really the right word? I'd say repugnant, repulsive, disturbing, horrific, vomit worthy... You catch my drift. Man, sometimes parents just share too much, huh?