Whole foods
Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 2-year-old asked for cake, so I told her I would make her one. I showed her two boxes of cake and asked which one she wanted. She picked one and happily tried opening it. She'd thought a fully cooked cake is in the box. Ever tried explaining baking to a toddler? FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML
Today, I was babysitting and told the kid we’d make pancakes from scratch. I mixed everything, poured the batter, and waited. They never set. I'd forgot to add flour. The kid looked at the pan, then at me, and said, “Is this soup?” I ordered pizza and tried to spin it as a “fun cooking experiment.” FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I went to make cookies, the box said mix by hand so I literally used my hands. Not a fork or anything. My step-mom walked in and laughed at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThatLastKid 21
How does one go 17 years without knowing how to crack an egg? Or that it needs to be cracked?
am1717 22
You raised a bright one huh :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
InteresingMan 5
Damn she stupid
CliffyB03 28
Well, she's not wrong lol
Allayyyyy194 6
Anyone else think of the movie Sleeping Beauty? When Fauna does this?
davek 36
First I clicked this was a suck. Then I changed it to deserved, because y u no teach your kids things like basic cooking?
bapbap_fml 15
Do they not teach home ec in schools anymore..? Not that it's the schools fault, but there are just so many opportunities to learn such a basic skill that I'm confused how at 17 she managed to avoid learning that you don't put egg shells in food.
mariri9206 32
There wasn't a home ec in any of my schools and I graduated high school like 6 years ago.
cornwallus24 8
Hope she has looks and doesn't go to college! Obviously she can't cook.Cant stop laughing.
BeautifulChaos27 37
How does her lack of cooking skills mean she isn't smart in other areas of her life? For all you know she could be great at math or science.
Ichiya 29
I have found that cooking, especially baking, has a lot in common with chemistry and math. Once I know why certain things react in certain ways with other ingredients or cooking methods it allows me to edit recipes or even create my own recipe. The science behind cooking is facinating. Of course I just love learning things in general. Knowledge is power after all.
watermelon_bae 15
At least your kid made you a cake!!!
mariri9206 32
As a baker, this pains me.
game0ver_fml 18
Wow... for a 17 year old, she is incredibly dumb. This is why schools (at least here in the US) should never have gotten rid of home ec. classes.
Urpoppy 21
The ignorance is astonishing.