Today, I went to make cookies, the box said mix by hand so I literally used my hands. Not a fork or anything. My step-mom walked in and laughed at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML
Today, I made a small batch of cookies and took them to work. Mostly everyone took one, but nobody said anything until I asked how they were. Someone asked what my recipe was, because it tasted like I'd forgot to add sugar. I bit into one. I had. The cookies tasted like muddy mush. FML
Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, I decided to bake chocolate wafers. I rolled the dark brown dough into a log, when my senile grandmother walked in. She saw it and started screaming that I was playing with shit, then threw a bottle at me. I had to throw the dough away because it was full of broken glass. FML
Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML
Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
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Top comments
cocacola999 27
Depends on what kind of cookies you were making - sometimes when the dough is very thick, it actually is better to use your hands.
yes31601 16
It's really not a big deal. Unless you don't wash your hands... Gross
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Comments (20)
McBongwater 16
That's pretty amazing though!
Tripartita 45
I know, I couldn't believe what I was reading! I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming!
cocacola999 27
Depends on what kind of cookies you were making - sometimes when the dough is very thick, it actually is better to use your hands.
mina1914 9
So you went to make cookies and used your hands to mix the dough. How terrible...
yes31601 16
It's really not a big deal. Unless you don't wash your hands... Gross
Tripartita 45
Hahaha, what a moron! "Mix by hand" clearly means "mix and make sure a hand is somewhere nearby," duh!
Stuffaluffagus 25
Well... nobody can say you didn't follow the directions
species4872 20
Yup, Now that's funny.
Vampirequeen346 8
I don't get it
HappyLilFishie 10
Mix by hand usually means use a wooden spoon or something like that instead of electric beaters.
LyricaSilvan 30
I believe "by hand" is one of the strange things we humans call a "figure of speech."
cumminsncope 4
I feel so much better about myself after reading this