Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 2-year-old asked for cake, so I told her I would make her one. I showed her two boxes of cake and asked which one she wanted. She picked one and happily tried opening it. She'd thought a fully cooked cake is in the box. Ever tried explaining baking to a toddler? FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML
Today, I was babysitting and told the kid we’d make pancakes from scratch. I mixed everything, poured the batter, and waited. They never set. I'd forgot to add flour. The kid looked at the pan, then at me, and said, “Is this soup?” I ordered pizza and tried to spin it as a “fun cooking experiment.” FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I went to make cookies, the box said mix by hand so I literally used my hands. Not a fork or anything. My step-mom walked in and laughed at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThatLastKid 21
How does one go 17 years without knowing how to crack an egg? Or that it needs to be cracked?
am1717 22
You raised a bright one huh :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
helmiz 17
that's stupid
blueotcxx 2
WOW! She's dense af.
NorthernBuck92 5
smh that's bad parenting on your end
GokuSS400 18
Well…enjoy the torment those eggshells will wreak on your stomach
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
It's your job as a parent to teach your children to cook
1known_fml 8
You never cooked a cake with her before???
Killnot123 6
You can only blame yourself ¯_(ツ)_/¯
rubberduck_of_doom 31
Sry but I have to go YDI for this one. She is YOUR daughter afterall. You raised her that way. My brother and eye had to help in the kitchen from a very early age on. Now we know how to properly clean all the dishes and most importantly how to cook any kind of food following the recipe. So yeah, that's on you for not teaching her how to do it properly. (Or checking if she had any common sense at all XD )
shannon2348 14
oh come on. unless your daughter is retarded I think she would know not to put the entire egg in.
randybryant799 21
So you're telling us that at the age of 17 your daughter doesn't know how eggs work? I don't know how that's even possible.