thanksmom
United States
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Rain
Piggy banked
Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML
brigitte
Noyon, France
Nice meeting you…
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
TriangularBanana
Cypress, United States
Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML
i stole your daughter's virginity anyways!!
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML
FranchezDeVista
Toronto, Canada
Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML
SilverAuthor
Detroit, United States
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML
Disgusted
United States
TMI
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
whaaaaat111
Vienna, United States
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Top comments
chenoa_fml 0
be glad you weren't raised by her..
imaginaryvoice 18
That's what my biological mother would do if she wasn't dead.
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Comments (138)
imaginaryvoice 18
That's what my biological mother would do if she wasn't dead.
SeeBrendenBurn 0
And, shortly afterwards, your biological fist broke her biological face.
cbr600_fml 0
next time u see her punch her in the face I would
the_flirtt 0
hah good one
iicyfreshhXD 0
oh your mom is nice OP :]
missmurderx 8
this reminds me of tonights episode of the secret life of the American teenager! ahh, who saw it?! xD
the_flirtt 0
op did
Gabaloka 0
Owned by bio mommy. nuff said.
ohthebloodygore 16
hah that's hilarious Sorry op, this is why she didn't raise you:) Be glad
Gabaloka 0
oh, btw, you deserve it for being adopted. for those who will start hating after this comment, go watch Ray William Johnson first, kay? thx
missmurderx 8
I bet op did. now watch as I debunk it, like ghost adventures. O: scandalous.
MagneticPineappl 0
If you're going to insult someone, do it right. Don't try to justify your trolling. Just troll.
Giorgio272 2
aw sorry babe your real mom is a crack *****.
LightningLadyy 0
25- you're retarded.
kfrizzle2 4
Thats why you steal her keys and call it even. Unless the keys are to someone elses car that she stole and dumped at the bottom of a lake after a night of drinking heavily and partying hard. =]
acruzmn 0
ray owns and yeah he/she deserved it
robotdancer 0
At least you know that your life was better without her in it. Imagine if she had raised you.
YourEvilHero 12
ray William johnson sucks. yourevilheroz are better
hales1919 3
#10 I like your tat
eviiee_fml 3
agree
maxrider 0
haha!! I love Ray William Johnson!
RedPillSucks 33
She likes your tat and she cannot lie, those other sisters can deny, but when a guy walks by with a tit in his tat she gets wet he's gonna be her favorite pet
dancingxthexmoon 0
79- haha, same! :D though it's weird how he calls his viewers 'forum'. does anyone watch mychonny? he is a awesome Asian :)
thepeople2 0
There's a message here - be glad you didn't have to spend your entire childhood with this woman.
KrystalCaliyah 0
haha 6 ilove it
gabbster95 0
hahahahahahaha #80 lol
myschyveus 0
hey!! don't be stingy, sharing is caring!
Brittaneyyy 0
haha
Gabaloka 0
41- i was not trolling, which is exactly why i explained myself afterwards. i was only making a joke for RWJ viewers. so shut up.
jenna333 1
I did!
MeAlec 1
what a bitch
DiscountDJ25 0
Pfft...Chhc...BAHAHAHA! *snort* AhHaHa! *wheeze* 80 FTW.
powermad80 2
sounds like an episode of Everybody Hates Chris.
crimsongetsu 0
u deaerv it fur having a biological mother!! 16 there's nooo way....
tanjoodo 3
THAT IS THE BEST FML EVAR!!!
luckymay 0
#25 your ugly go hide. :)
underaegis 0
she's dead... that's a good thing right? couse it is! how I wish one of my family died. not in a bad way of course but I think I've nailed down depression by death but I have to test it and not show signs of greif
smart16314 0
ghost hunters
agalaz 5
#25 **** you
alexangel33 18
Wtf
MdMan2 23
Damn bro
_princess61522_ 0
awww that's so terribly sad, I'm sorry
underaegis 0
sorry his fault for having a wallet! I use a pouch cliped on to my belt, or those loops a belt would normally go through.
chenoa_fml 0
be glad you weren't raised by her..
SOTYsNumber1Fan 0
very true
kfrizzle2 4
You so cute #3 You make smiles appear on my face. =]
lickmyjock 0
too bad you don't look half good as her huh?
kfrizzle2 4
Too bad im not phased by your attempt at an insult.
justsayfuck 5
Agree! At least now you know you're better of without her :)
kfrizzle2 4
Same birthday FTW!!! =] (#67)
justsayfuck 5
Awesome! Even the same birthyear :D
chenoa_fml 0
55- thanks ^_^
linebacker42 0
dude that sucks, I have it bad to, my dad left me at age 9 for my uncles wife, his sister in law.....parents suck sometimes
neon_shoes 0
Awe, I'm sorry:(
Hussain 0
that's awful fyl
waterynuggets 0
They getcha coming and they getcha going!
tycoon96 0
I know this sounds mean but that's friggin hilarious XD.
DncrHap 9
wow. "nice to meet you, son. nice, fat wallet you got there."
DncrHap 9
and by "son" i mean "daughter." obviously.
flotar 0
well op, you found her once, I'm pretty sure you'll find her again... it'll probably take you another 20 years... in the meantime, fyl for trusting someone you just met.
hsshae 0
you could like slap a hoe =/