Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 2-year-old asked for cake, so I told her I would make her one. I showed her two boxes of cake and asked which one she wanted. She picked one and happily tried opening it. She'd thought a fully cooked cake is in the box. Ever tried explaining baking to a toddler? FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML
Today, I was babysitting and told the kid we’d make pancakes from scratch. I mixed everything, poured the batter, and waited. They never set. I'd forgot to add flour. The kid looked at the pan, then at me, and said, “Is this soup?” I ordered pizza and tried to spin it as a “fun cooking experiment.” FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I went to make cookies, the box said mix by hand so I literally used my hands. Not a fork or anything. My step-mom walked in and laughed at me. FML
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Top comments
ThatLastKid 21
How does one go 17 years without knowing how to crack an egg? Or that it needs to be cracked?
am1717 22
You raised a bright one huh :)
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Comments (61)
ChrisMora 16
She's so smart...
jb591 10
Seems like u did a bad job at raising an egg head........
aliciousness116 16
Wow! I'm 20 and I still don't know how to break eggs properly but I do know you're suppose to break them at least.
amsterdamgirl 20
I'm sorry, but ydi. you didn't teach your kid to cook/bake!!!
mswim 27
Ugh! How daft can one get? Seriously? Not even common sense? Did she never watch cartoons as a kid where the kid makes a cake? Nothing!?
JKPwnage 27
OP has 17 daughters?
soullyfe 33
@38: '17 year old daughter...' Reading is fundamental.
Zarcissa 34
The words "year old" were actually missing at first, which made the whole FML a lot different.
sayhisoph 26
No. No. IM SORRY! But I don't believe you. I refuse to believe she is THAT stupid!
Love_L0ST 13
Does she burn water too?
RainCl0ud 22
YDI for not teaching your daughter how to bake.
Calingaladha 21
What the shell was she thinking?