Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year-old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said, "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying, "I'm good" or, "I'm okay", I said, "I'm gay". FML
Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says, "I've been a dirty, dirty girl" in a seductive tone. I thought she meant about the table so I said, "Yes you have!" She then winked at me. I walked away fast. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
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Top comments
lovej4ever 0
you got nervous about a 70 year old woman talking to you??
tatertot1127 0
that's kinda funny! but what a creepy old lady!
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Comments (143)
Astraea 0
what an asshole. Get over him, real fast!!
DaDezza244 31
2, *70 year old woman, so it's a her. Did you even read the FML?
tatertot1127 0
that's kinda funny! but what a creepy old lady!
KASHMIR_fml 0
wow ur life is SO totally screwed
nickforthewin 0
...how?
KASHMIR_fml 0
was being sarcastic. op thinks his life is ****** because f a minor Freudian slip
lovej4ever 0
you got nervous about a 70 year old woman talking to you??
UrNotFunny 0
win.
TrekkieGirl 0
@ #5...I was just about to post the same thing. LMAO....this is ridiculous! I give the old lady credit for being confident enough to try and hit on you, but your response was just laughable.
jamieboy11 0
lol
cbathinkofaname 0
Ohh badtimes! i'd do exsacly the same thing in that situation then think about all the things I could have said after! Ahh well, and who likes there men fast anyway? If you were ringing her then how did you know she was winking?
racer337 2
That was a dumb thing to say, but if it's a 70 year old lady it probably doesn't matter that much.
gh3tt0cak3s 0
I think you should of went for it ; )
chikiitaaa 0
HAHAHAHA. old ladies r so horny.
Just_Me_143 0
glad to know that you're finally comin out of the closet. Jk you could have added 'me too, except with women. I just loove fast women. you took out you're money sooo quickly.' then enjoyed your night :)
cookie08_fml 0
ha funny