Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was fighting to change a toilet seat when it suddenly came free and, thanks to physics, I promptly smashed myself across the bridge of my nose with the edge of it. I now have a purple nose and it's starting to spread to my eyes. I now have to explain to people over the next week or so how it happened. FML
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Top comments
frickyourlives 0
I can only assume you have no arms, as when falling, first instinct is to use your arms to protect and steady yourself.
ipod_addict 0
oh no something is on my shoulder! im gonna go jump off the toilet and hit my face on the toilet paper!
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Comments (136)
SirWhatsHisFace 0
I will never understand how a woman can take hot wax, put it on herself, have her hair ripped out from the roots, and still be afraid of something so silly.
hellokimmiee 5
That made me lol to tears. Good job op.
XxKeLs3yxX 0
wow dramatic much?
squirell_AIDS69 0
wow pretty much?
XxKeLs3yxX 0
lol nah I don't think so
okieraider71 4
You must be really really skinny!
fisheatsbear 6
your hair is trying to kill you and your toilet was an accomplice. the toilet roll holder was just in the wrong place at the wrong time though.
KurouTenshi 0
@26 I'm favouriting this FML just for this comment x) it makes me giggle.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Yeah, fisheb, but it's the innocent paper holder that will take the rap. Damn frame up jobs; that's just how the world works.
dsegui4 0
haha once my hair scared me while I fell asleep at school it was really embarrassing when I woke up!!! lmao
Jlevrt 0
you must have some damn long hair...
ChocolateTazer 0
Owned.
mrguy266 0
isn't there paper on the roll..it would kind of cushion you "fall" lol
ChocolateTazer 0
LOL! So it's a double fail?
fisheatsbear 6
thats like saying a mattress will save you from a 50 foot fall.
mandiecait 0
hahaha :D