Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML
Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML
Today, my normally very unadventurous girlfriend decided she wanted to have public sex. We were naked in the back of her car when she saw someone in the distance, had a panic attack, and started screaming uncontrollably. I got arrested because a cop heard the screams and thought I was attacking her. FML
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Top comments
Stealthninjaa 19
Safe to say that she's not a keeper...
ApparentlyNotEno 28
Shite way to find out, OP... but at least you found out. No leniency for that one - book her and run for the hills!
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Comments (25)
ApparentlyNotEno 28
Shite way to find out, OP... but at least you found out. No leniency for that one - book her and run for the hills!
readingrachel 9
That's rough buddy
Stealthninjaa 19
Safe to say that she's not a keeper...
Fucc_Logic_4evah 13
I mean if you take her back, you won't have the respect of me, one random stranger on the internet! THINK ABOUT IT, OP!? HOW WOULD YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?! Without my respect, I mean.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
If he takes her back SHE'LL respect him even less.
mcruff 12
This is one of those situations where I'm like "okay, the police aren't that bad"
Turtleizer567 1
Yikes! Sorry buddy :( No shortage of crazies out there. Unfortunately you don't usually find out you got one until something like this happens. Hopefully you didn't have too much time invested. Either way, I guess it's a good thing you found out now vs. some years (/a mortgage/marriage/kids/etc.) down the road. Keep your chin up op!
sophiehelen 32
She's not crazy, she's just an almighty ******** and a moron
interesting33 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
this sounds too awful and too much of a coincidence (you happening to be the officer on scene) to be true but if it truly happened to you then I am so sorry.
Namenlos_fml 20
There are worse ways to find out she was cheating. If she tries to manipulate her and your friends into being on her side because you dumped your ass, you just show them the arrest record.
rivenrock 14
I don't know about that. It was a pretty shit way to find out.
Cyberpope 3
Harsh! She's cheating on you, tried to get you in trouble with your job . . . Why would you not want to keep with her? That Uber sucks, bro!
Katie Kat 8
Hope you arrested her lol
C8H18 33
The very first sentence says he did....