Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was fighting to change a toilet seat when it suddenly came free and, thanks to physics, I promptly smashed myself across the bridge of my nose with the edge of it. I now have a purple nose and it's starting to spread to my eyes. I now have to explain to people over the next week or so how it happened. FML
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Top comments
frickyourlives 0
I can only assume you have no arms, as when falling, first instinct is to use your arms to protect and steady yourself.
ipod_addict 0
oh no something is on my shoulder! im gonna go jump off the toilet and hit my face on the toilet paper!
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Comments (136)
iluvjk13 0
Hahaha "bum cheeks"? nice.
subieguy 0
we need a WTF button o_O
frankyvalentino0 0
Umm I think you'd have to be pretty skinny in order for your "bum cheek" to fall in the toilet. all you people thinking the OP is FAT.. Think about it if your fat your "bum cheeks" would hang off the sides. so the moving process it took for the OP to swat at her shoulder would NOT be possible for a large person. point being OP is a skinny thing. and OP this is hilarious, can't even count the times this type of thing has happened to me. just not to this extent. haha
oh_danng 0
hahahahhahahahahaha i loled.
morgaleigh 6
my favorite part of this whole fml has to be "bum cheek"
0ptimisticprime 0
LMFFFAO
oh_danng 0
wtf button would be a good investment
apemaverick07 0
stupid
FockinA 0
OP: stoner eh ? congrats for having a high IQ
KaylaCrow 4
I added this one to my favorites just because of the phrase 'Bum Cheeks'. :D ...And fisheatsbear's comment.