Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was fighting to change a toilet seat when it suddenly came free and, thanks to physics, I promptly smashed myself across the bridge of my nose with the edge of it. I now have a purple nose and it's starting to spread to my eyes. I now have to explain to people over the next week or so how it happened. FML
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Top comments
frickyourlives 0
I can only assume you have no arms, as when falling, first instinct is to use your arms to protect and steady yourself.
ipod_addict 0
oh no something is on my shoulder! im gonna go jump off the toilet and hit my face on the toilet paper!
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Comments (136)
blairyboo 0
in so srry tht sucks
thor89 0
Don't worry I get scared of my hair to
tweetbaby14 18
well you could try I dunno cutting your hair if it scares you. I think that's what I'm gonna be for halloween and come to your house and scare you.
saywaturcoco 0
@12 lmao. :-P I get scared of my hair as well
xoconnie 8
lol that sounds like something i would do. hahahaah at least its a funny storyy to tell ur friends.
jon123321 0
YDI for having a bum, those things are expensive.
woofis 0
I agree this is not uncommon
crazeelife12 0
that wasn't your hair... it was mine!
lubby_fml 0
I see how hair can be very scary....thats why I always shave mine. If you don't, it might kill you in your sleep. ; ) 2 things I found funny in this fml: 1) Sittin' on toilet...sittin' on a toilet! (If you dont know where that is from, I feel sad for you) 2) BUM CHEEKS are awesome.
marleytooyou 0
oooooo sukka
ReyEr9412 0
Was the toilet seat covered in lube?
VeryNice329 0
omg after all those comments last night about your pic, you changed it...
harryman04 0
@54 who's pic
yottskry 0
I am pic! Unless you meant "whose"...
WhatANoob 0
@45 I know where :D
ImaginaryFoe 1
Me too, #7. Well, not exactly scared but I will sometimes thing there is a bug on me or someone is tickling me when it's just my hair. I felt it brush just above my waist once and freaked out; I gadn't realised it had gotten that long.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I believe VeryNice was referring to marley's pic. Someone posted the url back in the original thread where the former and the current pics can be found. There was a debate as to whether or not is really marley or if she is a poser pulling pix from online.
llAllStarll 0
Marley why don't you take a seat over there
UHGG 0
is that possible?
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
God girls can't even take a shit right. Oh and there's a toilet in the kitchen? jk
Monikabug 9
Glad I am not the only person that this happens to, Lol! :) The bruise will go away in a few days, until then FYL.
TrekkieGirl 0
Wow that really sucks! Hope you're doing better, OP.
StoryOfTheYear 15
worlds smallest ass? how do you fall into the hole of the seat? those holes are norbert big
StoryOfTheYear 15
ok WOW huge fail by spellcheck norbert=not, -.-
VeryNice329 0
48s pic
loodles 0
whts a bum cheek?
daniisme 0
haha #50 "hey lil boy, you wanna join my sleepover? all you need to do is find my lube" (MJ) random ass game... HILARIOUS
Bertha5 0
ahahahahhahahahahahahahahah! ur a fail.
StoryOfTheYear 15
yes 116- very emotastic
Rikku95 0
sry love this is a fake. I saw one like this few weeks ago. FML for knowin that :p
ilovefatcats 12
hahahaha fat ass
KurouTenshi 0
OP, you've helped redefine what it means to be a spaz. lay of the coffee huh?
sicpupyz122 0
sorry? u better check what it is before you spaz out?
jackydanglers 0
Zelda ftw!!!!
KurouTenshi 0
Zelda made the word spaz, for always getting kidnapped.
DonkeyDelight 0
What is it with Nintendo and kidnappinging?
DonkeyDelight 0
Ehh, ignore the typo.
MariahMurderr 7
She could have just been caught off guard. No reason to call her a spaz. I have paranoia so this happened to me once in the dark.
Emmmmm55 0
wow lol fail!!!!! tht is awesome tho
saywaturcoco 0
eww Justin b¡tcher!!!!
ChocolateTazer 0
it's not Justin's fault that she wasn't born without a penis.
boopityboppity 11
Your picture makes me want to punch a baby. Your "sentences" and fanatic obsession with exclamation marks don't do anything to convince me otherwise.
rockintothebeat 0
shes commented on every post today so far, mommy must've finally let her make an account
frickyourlives 0
I can only assume you have no arms, as when falling, first instinct is to use your arms to protect and steady yourself.
slowlybreakingme 14
not necessarily if you're sitting on the john. shit happens, man
erjaguam 0
lol!! why did the op fall off the toilet? Because the OP had no arms.
You_Just_Failed 0
i think 6 is right! and probably a midget too
frickyourlives 0
#14That's deep man, like your arms would have to be in order to not be able to use them to 'save face' as it were.
jon123321 0
#14, I find your comment offensive.
KurouTenshi 0
LOL@#36 xD
katmandont 0
@14 LOL :D
babybubz 0
LOL way to go OP *clap clap clap*
TattedDownJah 2
ha that's always funny when that happens
ipod_addict 0
oh no something is on my shoulder! im gonna go jump off the toilet and hit my face on the toilet paper!
live4tomorrow 7
LOL.
Troll_Hater 0
hahahahahahaha
babygurl17 0
awwww. hey how do change your pic on ur profile here????
Monikabug 9
@13 you have to sign on the website. Then you can upload your picture, write in your profile, and send private messages. :)
gymtanlaundry 0
i dont like how you worded it ..