Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML
Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML
Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML
Today, I bought my sister a bunny and all it does is try to bang my cat, and shit and piss in my room to mark its territory. FML
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Top comments
NoFlippinWai 24
and how pronounced were its nipples? How does one measre that?
lovelyheadache 16
Haha that sounds odd and it seems like she's doing it on purpose. Hopefully the lease is up soon? :)
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Comments (63)
jessBeAqueen 13
for some odd reason this made me think of meet the fockers where he says you can milk anything with nipples....just hope you don't catch her doing that.
barlos88 19
Oh finals week...
kiakia0131 23
Yikes. And I thought my roommate in college was an oddball. Run away fast OP. It's pretty funny to picture, but kind of creepy at the same time.
skyeyez9 25
I baby talk to my two dogs. But that is where it stops. I don't let them lick inside my nose or study their nips.
worldclassrager 41
Either she has a weird way of asking you to move out...
ViviMage 40
Sit on the other couch or find a new roommate.
SadisticStephyy 21
Not gonna lie. I cuddle my guinea pigs and say 'who's my cuddly little pig? Who's a good girl?'
ducksaretheshit 17
Hey, bunnies and creepy roommates need love too.
Bluelephant88 5
But buns are wittle cutesy wutesy oopsey poopsey bun buns with dere nipplely wippelies stickin out dere belly wellies made of jellies
blackwidowtaco 31
No. Just no.
jimmywithsalt 19
EeewwwWWwwwWw! *********** is no bueno! >.<