Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML
Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML
Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML
Today, I bought my sister a bunny and all it does is try to bang my cat, and shit and piss in my room to mark its territory. FML
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Top comments
NoFlippinWai 24
and how pronounced were its nipples? How does one measre that?
lovelyheadache 16
Haha that sounds odd and it seems like she's doing it on purpose. Hopefully the lease is up soon? :)
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Comments (63)
acid_moose 7
Still a better love story than twilight!
davincidasecond 24
Still an overused joke. If you're gonna try to be witty, at least be original.
Nyx_fml 23
Maybe your roommate has just seen so many people drooling over Playboy Bunnies that she wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
Enslaved 38
Sounds like she wants Thumper to hump her. :P
ghil15 8
maybe shes on drugs?...
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
Meth is one hell of a drug.
zawesomee 14
For some reason, I read "in church" instead of "on the couch". Be happy you weren't actually in a church. :)
martin8337 36
Rabbit ******.
mameburgess 7
are u sure she was talkin about rabbits nipples or hers lol gross
chelseaaababyyy 17
This FML made me feel like a wackjob. I let my pet rats lick inside my nose because it's adorable. Should probley keep that to myself from now on. ._.
Squeaky_Tomato 14
I know right? When I had a bunny (Miss Afina) I would let her lick my nose and lips. It was cute. I'd baby talk her too (she was full grown at 2.5lbs). I never did comment on her nipples though. That part does seem strange. The rest seems normal.
Pyapi 20
I'm even worse then. Not only do I let my dog lick my nose, lips, and the rest of my face, I often joke around about her nipples since she has an odd number. Never knew that was considered weird... That's why I don't really get how this FML is that bad XD
misspulkadot24 17
I'm so glad someone spoke up. I have 3 mini dachshunds, and they all have different voices. They lick the inside of my nose all the time. But if that's wrong, I don't want to be right. They are my children!
awkwaard_fml 10
Thats... uh, disturbing.