Today, my wife screamed to stop the car in an intersection, so I slammed on the brakes. From the left, an SUV rammed full force into us. My wife is unharmed, but I now have a broken left arm and our car is totaled. On the bright side, she caught the Pokémon in the road. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML
Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was on my way to a Thanksgiving dinner, with my dog in her seat in the front of my car. On the entrance ramp to the highway, my rear wheels spun to the left, and then my car spun completely around and hit the guardrail. My car is totaled. I'm broke, but at least my dog wasn't hurt. FML
Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
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Top comments
Symphoniaes 32
Don’t blame Pokémon Go - I play on both my husband’s and I’s phones while he’s driving. I would *maybe* ask him to pull over or turn around to grab a Pokémon if it were incredibly important to the game, but never in a MILLION YEARS would I endanger lives for a Pokémon. You and your wife need to have a serious talk. A very, very serious talk.
TheHarvardian 25
For the people saying he deserves it, if someone screams, and I mean literally screams like it's life or death, in the car for me to stop, I'm going to hit the brakes because maybe they see something that's about to go wrong that I didn't notice.
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Comments (43)
Madrias 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserved it. Driving like that causes accidents, and you got exactly that, an accident. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
interesting33 37
I don't know, it sounds like OP was driving normally but thought they had missed something and would hit someone as their wife had screamed out of the blue, so dangerously.
Liongoddess8 18
I think you've read the situation wrong - the wife was playing Pokémon Go on her phone whilst OP was driving and because she was about to miss the Pokémon, she yelled stop and her partner (the OP) obviously thought that there was a real-life incident about to occur when she yelled stop and so they slammed on the brakes, causing the accident to happen. All I can say is that OP's wife obviously has a problem with addiction and should probably get help because she nearly killed them both.
Gundel 22
Your wife acted more than just foolish, I hope she will pay for the damage...
Symphoniaes 32
Don’t blame Pokémon Go - I play on both my husband’s and I’s phones while he’s driving. I would *maybe* ask him to pull over or turn around to grab a Pokémon if it were incredibly important to the game, but never in a MILLION YEARS would I endanger lives for a Pokémon. You and your wife need to have a serious talk. A very, very serious talk.
BeardedLondoner 24
Do blame Pokemon go and the idiots who play it.
RichardPencil 32
You are a hero, sir! If not for your brave sacrifice, the SUV surely would have killed the poor, little Pokémon. You are a credit to humanity...and Pokémonity!
Lobby_Bee 18
This one will make an interesting story on your insurance history.
Glowworm56 27
Sometimes you just gotta catch them all!
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Guess that ppl in a driving car shouldn't play pokemo go, regardless of who's driving...
BeardedLondoner 24
That's right. It's a stupid game for brain dead, consumerist, zombies. Any person that plays it and are above the age of 13 are *****.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
There's a reason it's called pokemon GO and not Pokemon DRIVE
NostalgiaFreak9 43
The OP wasn't the one playing Pokémon Go, his wife was.
LeoCor 19
Funny because “Go” is a term for movement or starting up, not walking. So technically Pokémon Go can very well mean driving at the same time. However OP wasn’t play with the game and if he was, there is warnings all over the game
AzrielB 8
This doesn't make sense unless OP was running a red light, ydi
neuronerd 29
Yeah. I was thinking the same, or that the other car was running a light. The only possible thing that could make sense is if OP had a stop sign, and went to cross when he had just enough time to make it before the other car, but in that situation, they'd be highly aware of the other car(s) coming. Given that he's saying she yelled to stop to catch a Pokemon, if he had been at a stop sign, she could have gotten it easily, so the only reason to yell about stopping would require OP to be going at a decent speed. Therefore, someone was running a light to make this plausible.
Liongoddess8 18
Maybe the light just changed as he went through, but obviously the light wouldn't have accounted for someone braking suddenly at an intersection - either that or the other car was running a red light. Nevertheless, still a dangerous place to stop and I completely blame the wife.
PhoenixChick 26
Running a red light, in a parking lot, crossing lanes of traffic, driving straight across a busy road...wtf does it matter if you can reconstruct the accident in your head?
neuronerd 29
Because several FMLs turn out to be BS.
mattiscg 22
one word: Divorce