Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML
Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML
Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML
Today, I bought my sister a bunny and all it does is try to bang my cat, and shit and piss in my room to mark its territory. FML
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Top comments
NoFlippinWai 24
and how pronounced were its nipples? How does one measre that?
lovelyheadache 16
Haha that sounds odd and it seems like she's doing it on purpose. Hopefully the lease is up soon? :)
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Comments (63)
jakezimmer 11
Wow. Can't believe there are no comments yet.
NoFlippinWai 24
that was a fail of a first comment if I have ever seen one.
lbrown66 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like rabbit stew for dinner!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
:O That's horrible!! I hate cats but I'd never kill one... Sarcasm, yes, but my point still holds true.
sarahjanek 7
How do cats come into this?
Googolman 29
I believe 11 is making an analogy.
lbrown66 12
But cat stew isn't a legit dish. Well, at least where I'm from anyway
jarrettd 27
31 you don't have Chinese food?
Blazinthatshit 9
Go to china, I'm sure they have some form of cat stew there.
Blazinthatshit 9
Oops O_O That wasn't meant to be offensive or anything. Guess it's time to give the rules another thorough looking over...
lovelyheadache 16
Haha that sounds odd and it seems like she's doing it on purpose. Hopefully the lease is up soon? :)
jonagoo 8
Doubt it. Most students are just getting to college now, and are gonna be stuck with other people for the next 8 months or so.
NoFlippinWai 24
and how pronounced were its nipples? How does one measre that?
Jake_Hale 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Is it weird that this sort of turned me on?
Zynris 10
Yes, you should seek help.
\ 28
Your roommate needs a romantic partner and/or a lobotomy.
Blackcatluck 19
Or a cat they make partners, or you can get 5 and keep all the potential love partners away :) you're welcome.
Enslaved 38
Or maybe the other type of "Rabbit". Don't forget the batteries. :P
Daryen_rawwwr 7
just call for Elmer Fudd. He will take care of that wasky wabbit.
AnOriginalName 19
Shhhhh! We're hunting wabbits!
J1bbl3 3
No he won't.... When have you EVER seen Elmer Fudd actually kill a rabbit before? He will just continue to make a total fool of himself like he always does.
LowExpectations 30
#17, I've seen Elmer Rudd finally get Bugs Bunny on Family Guy... It was graphic... R.I.P. Bugs Bunny.
LowExpectations 30
*Fudd
Jezzikah 11
What a hare-y situation. I hop she stops doing that soon!!
_GoodGuy 11
OP, don't lie, you'd baby-talk if u had a pet.
Otaku31 19
Baby talk is one thing. Commenting on your animal's nipples is another.
skyttlz 32
I have pets and I talk normal to them.
ohioain 18
You both need some hobbies. Lol.... Her more than you though. :P
AnOriginalName 19
Shit, talk about inspiring. I know what I'm doing with my roommates tomorrow!