Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
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Top comments
grahmagog 14
Clean your ears more often and you'll understand why
ManInTheMachine 20
Sounds like he found his q-spot.
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Comments (89)
LyraAlluse 25
It sounds like he found a new hobby. At least his ears will be squeaky clean.
ViviMage 40
Either cleaning his ears is orgasmic, or you are bad in bed. And tell him to stop using q-tips! He could puncture his eardrums!
worldclassrager 41
Does that pull back his fingers far enough to make those noises?
StacyRenae 9
Have you tried it? Better than most sex I've had in awhile.
buckdharma 38
" Ear" is a pot smoker's main vocabulary word. Ex- ( inhales deeply*) EARrrr.
B1ackthesun 31
What on earth are you on about? It's nonsense like this that gives people the impression any one who enjoys marijuana must be a dribbling idiot.
buckdharma 38
It doubles your chances of becoming psychotic while severely impairing motor skills, so forget basketball, but you were half right.
timss4 19
O
WhiteCrimson 23
Bite his ear next time you guys are busy.... You will have him playing hide n seek in no time. 1 2 3 here i cum lol
NPN_Scorpio 16
"Have an eargasm." /Pioneer
badguy500 4
I dont see anything wrong with the fact that the man enjoys cleaning his ears
russfml 31
Ahah now I know I'm not the only one!