Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
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Top comments
damadrappa 4
Someones jealous
GuitarFail123 9
wow... thats umm interesting to say the least....
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Comments (239)
fmlikecrazy 0
That's creepy, unless maybe he was joking? If you're so worried, tell your boyfriend
DeathBunny218 37
even if he was joking it's still pretty creepy :s
XxDeathReaperxX 6
Looooooooool! So creepy.
Savra_fml 17
Wow, Thanks....Fantastic?
Meme1988 18
Creepy!
cnkk07 8
Dad: call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you You: why? Is there someone else, preferably your son?
Flutequeen 0
Have u called yet
panvicka 16
haha he was joking, but creepy anyway... if it happened to me, i could never look at him again
DjeePee 25
Joking? A joke is supposed to be funny, this, on the contrary, is not funny and even a little bit humiliating. How can OP ever feel comfortable with that man again?
perdix 31
Well, if he lives up to his brag, he'll give her a night of carnal pleasures that will leave her thrilled and relaxed. That's one way she could become comfortable with him.
malignantmegan 3
84 mmm pleasure lol that makes us all nice and cozy :D Group orgy therapy session time?!? Me hopes so
sixspades 0
If I were OP my response would have been Call me when you're ready to experience being ass raped by my foot
Savra_fml 17
Looool.....not! You will never become an Ace of Spades!
Shadow_Phantom 26
*shudder* Yeah, that's creepy. Can be kinky for some people, but for most I'd imagine it'd bring up thoughts to call the police.
poopypants09 0
Hahaha I'm a guy and my girlfriend's mom said the same thing like the same words and everything
faith94m 5
I find that hard to believe, poopypants09...
marpay 11
She asked you to call her when you want to know what a real man feels like? Is she a transsexual or a hermaphrodite?