Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML
Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML
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Top comments
deadxwedding84 5
Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.
stephan18 23
Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!
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Comments (162)
EnterSandman_fml 20
That's not really all that creative, he stole it from the movie Crank.
BulldogHoops 14
*54 comments this on the first post so people will see it, even though it will accomplish nothing*
white16sox 19
60, read her " About Me" section. It's not that hard.
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
good imagination...?
BlakeSaysRawr 7
Well, at least he's trying to let you down easy. :)
12GaugeTurtle 1
Please. Ezio doesn't need to worry about safety of those he loves . If someone so much as touches his loved ones heaping plates of whoop ass will be served.
callous 2
He's batman?
Proton21 7
the mafia hurt his brain
the_true_batman 10
It could be true, but more likely he's an idiot.
blahmemeblah 3
That would be soooooo funny if it was true lmao