Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML
Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML
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Top comments
deadxwedding84 5
Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.
stephan18 23
Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!
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Comments (162)
MrHotShot22 6
Sounds like a stand up guy to me.
zakkyzebra 11
At least he cares for your life :/. You're so selfish. *drip drip drip* you hear that? That's sarcasm.
TheTwistedOtaku 16
24 Just stop. .-.
eternal7 6
It's not personal, OP. It's strictly business.
AholeCop 11
Is his name Detective Michael Scarn?
KingCeltic77 18
Maybe you failed the test of unlocking the car for when after he hold the door open to you.
zandalee 20
Huh? Brain ****!
Justin0481 5
Grade A movie.
AholeCop 11
Or the pulling alonside the semi test...
Kogillz666 3
So many flaws in this excuse it's unbelievable. Surely an unknown force is much more intimidating.
twilightriforce 10
Find out if he tried swimming with concrete shoes. Because it sounds like he may have suffered some brain damage due to the lack of oxygen.
sweetmama88 6
He's most likely telling you truth , so your much better off with him .
jenniiienyc 5
I wonder how long it took him to come up with that gem of a story.