Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML
Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML
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Top comments
deadxwedding84 5
Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.
stephan18 23
Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!
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Comments (162)
apet214 10
Are you dating Barney Stinson? O.o
DeathsReprieve 1
you'll thank him when the mafia doesn't kill you.
noisebox 1
Sounds more like a brain dead 'walking dead' zombie who thinks you're one too : (
landsharkman 3
HAHAHA I can't stop laughing at how ridiculous yet original that is.
Tbooth44 1
I believe the word you are looking for is reciprocal and not reprisal haha wow!
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Are you trolling or just retarded? I wanna shove a dictionary so far up your ass that you start vomiting words. Oh wait, that's what you just did.
Shade1982 21
re·pri·sal (r-przl) n. 1. Retaliation for an injury with the intent of inflicting at least as much injury in return. 2. Forcible seizure of an enemy's goods or subjects in retaliation for injuries inflicted. 3. The practice of using political or military force without actually resorting to war. There, I did it for you :).
RKD 23
Lying douche or he is paranoid schizo. Either reasons is grounds to dump him! I wouldn't consider this a loss, Op!
wikedjest 0
best break up line lol and small possibility its true
alexmacbeth 0
The attack is comming you'll see
JockoKC 3
Boy, won't you feel dumb when you find out it's true. Nah, just kidding, he's a liar, but can you imagine?
spartanMKIV 9
let's not rule out the possibility, however unlikely, that he's telling the truth