Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML
Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
deadxwedding84 5
Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.
stephan18 23
Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (162)
deadxwedding84 5
Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.
NanillaVipples 2
"Vee vill ask zee kvestions!"
colebe66 1
Lame comment nerddd
12GaugeTurtle 1
Or just say your a spy from the other mafia and that sandwich you made him was poisoned.
379_fml 11
I wanna thumb up this more then once.....
brookenicolee29 27
Plot twist: He actually is an agent.
Reddeaded 5
Still be ready for the attack he says is coming... It never will
mrbobmarley4 8
You don't say?
305Miami 0
Best be prepared
stephan18 23
Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!
1PaulyD 9
Hey starburst, that's a juicy contradiction there
stephan18 23
What?
rarrar321 3
Hmm....seems legit.
MissDanish17 5
Just think positive. He could be telling the truth. ;)
nukeacat 9
Your picture fits well, young poster.
kittytub 12
maybe the smiley part, but I thought their pic was a dick. >3>
Tylerdre 6
#97 HOLY CRAP A TYPING CAT o-o
NamesIncognita 15
Profile pics in fml are so weird.
Acaprice14 9
Damn that's gotta be the most bad ass excuse to leave your girlfriend. You will find someone much more worthy OP!
youjustmademelol 4
It's a bad excuse but he broke up with you or a reason (which he may choose not to explain) and he did it with out insulting you would you rather him say "your ugly and getting fat, you are boring and annoying, I don't love you were breaking up."? Id go with mafia.
Bonzer 2
He was probably telling the truth, you never know.
reallytho3 11
It's that what you call it lol
DocBastard 40
And now you've busted his cover, you twit! You can expect the Mafia to come after you right about...... now.
MichellinMan 20
*gun shots from every angle light up her house and destroy windows and appliances and eventually kill her* Our work here is done.
thatfrenchguy 8
Don't worry though, Liam Neesen is on it
SerendipityRose 26
*Begins to quote Bible verses while switching off the safety* And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!!
br0ccoli 15
73-If Michellin tires work that well at protecting me, then those are the only tires I'm ever getting.
Callyn 47
Well, you dodged a bullet there. He's obviously retarded if that's all that he can come up with.
Callyn 47
It's hackneyed and cliched, not creative. It's every superheroes reason for not having a relationship, he just stole it out of a comic book.
cheetahbaby96 8
66- Every superhero is in the mafia!?
akou616 3
Bruce Wayne - Batman by night, Mafiosa by day
jweezy89 4
66- Please re-read the FML. Op's bf is fighting against the mafia, not in the mafia. I bet you aced reading comprehension.
redreynard 14
Want him back? Time to make him an offer he can't refuse.