Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML
Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML
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Top comments
deadxwedding84 5
Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.
stephan18 23
Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!
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Comments (162)
afairshake 8
Although creative that has to be one of the lamest breakup excuses ever what a moron sounds like you're better off
viper8608 9
what if he is? I would be prepared for an attack and have a knife on me at all times
br0ccoli 15
There's no way someone undercover would endanger their cover by telling a disgruntled ex-girlfriend. I call his bluff. Time to go all in and cash your chips and win this hand. OP, you deserve better. Move on.
broseph_joseph 5
Mafia fighting secret agent? Seems legit.
br0ccoli 15
Noor, don't worry. Ezio is up front about the fact that he's an assassin. Your relationship is safe with the most beautifully sun kissed Italian with beautiful hair and obviously chiseled muscles forged by his wall-leaping athleticism.
JustHayden 5
The awkward moment when you realize he's not lying.
HappyBeach 4
Poor guy. He must really love you to give you up for your safety :.(
KattataFish 4
What of you believe him so much you don't believe him.
yinanne12 0
Wow, really hope u punched him in the face for that
sens3sfailing 25
106-he claimed he was fighting the mafia, not in it...