Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, while trying to get over all the emotional things I've been going through, I forgot that my bedroom door was open and here my silly behind was dancing in my underwear while my roommate watched on. FML
Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML
Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tripartita 45
YDI. You had plenty of time to wrap the dirty dishes in the laundry and hang them from lighting fixtures, and to grab some tape and affix the ***** to the front doorknob. This is real estate 101.
WCARlover 35
That's a dildon't, OP :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (30)
joeyl1990 28
You would think that the realtor would have texted you the night before or morning of to remind you.
marshm610 18
They might not be using a realtor. If they were, I'm sure the realtor would've done something about it since they want the sale just as much as the seller
cootiequeen4444 11
then how did the people get in the house? As OP arrived when "they were leaving".
slothstronaught 11
So in other words congrats on the sale!
WCARlover 35
That's a dildon't, OP :(
dannidoll93 24
Don't beat yourself up... Mistakes happen. Maybe it made the potential buyers be able to imagine what it would be like to live there? Who doesn't leave their ***** on the dresser from time to time, after all.
Tripartita 45
YDI. You had plenty of time to wrap the dirty dishes in the laundry and hang them from lighting fixtures, and to grab some tape and affix the ***** to the front doorknob. This is real estate 101.
Badatbest 10
Damn bro every comment you make is ******* fire what would smoky the bear think?
RichardPencil 32
Usually people leave fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies out to make potential buyers feel at home. The ***** made them think they were going to get ******!
RichardPencil 32
What a dick move!
mfmylifesrsly 30
just, stop.
GreedyGreedo 10
Plot Twist: It was their *****. DUN DUN DUN
texaskitty86 25
It let's potential buyers know what the house will really look like when they move in. let's just hope that while they were trying out the couch and chairs, going through your fridge and stealing from your medicine cabinet that they didn't also try out your toys.
GrumpyGrinch 23
You mean you left the dishes, laundry and ***** or they did?
Catdragon 40
I originally read this as the people who came used her *****, left their laundry everywhere and used her dishes to cook with.