Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML
Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML
Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML
Today, I found out the sole reason my son insisted on buying the house he did is because he was told on the grapevine that one of his new neighbours is a hot 20-something who never closes her curtains to undress at night. I raised a perverted idiot. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a fight about his parents. We're both 23-year-old university students who aren't allowed in his bedroom unless the door is completely open. Nothing he says to his parents will change this. FML
Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, it doesn't mean your mom won't walk into your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML
Today, after a great night of sexual ecstacy, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year-old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night, he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML
Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML
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Top comments
jmu2011 6
*fap fap fap fap fap*
ghostlilac 25
Did you not see the "hardcore ****" FML from earlier? :P
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Comments (127)
LadyJoker21 0
Dudeeeeee when I become a mom I'm a start taken video and photos so I can catch my sons and daughters in the act
eringray101010 3
That's sick and nasty. There is no need for that and I'm pretty sure it counts as child pornography. Perv
immaMonsta 8
#30 That's disturbing...why would you wanna do that? Your daughter or son would only be doing something natural anyway.
sqeakyclean 7
Please don't reproduce. Whack job.
downtime 13
30, Your children would then be embarrassed not because you caught them, but because they have to know you for at least another few years.
DocBastard 40
"I'm a start taken video"? Is this Dumbass Speak for "I'm going to start taking video"? Don't worry, everyone. I'm sure when the time comes she'll be so stupid that she won't be able to figure out how sex works. I think we're all safe.
downtime 13
48, Worst case scenario, she won't know how cameras work either. She will probably barge in with a confused look on her face as she hits the eject button and blames it on the lens cap.
MigraineurOfLife 15
...and the "Dumb-Ass Comment of the Year" Award goes to _______ lady... Ahem, if you say so.
micahsmommy 13
Doc, if lady joker ends up in your hospital could you "accidentally" sew her legs shut please?
M3NT5HUN 0
Might as well call it child **** >:(
michellenKG 5
THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? why would you even want to see that?! your disgusting....
enopola 5
That's really ****** up! Why would you even want to catch them?
Angelrose2004 17
Calm down everyone! Crappy joke, but i'm assuming it's an old fml reference from a couple of days ago.
DocBastard 40
It's a shitty joke that's terribly written, with awful grammar and **** WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.
Angelrose2004 17
I agree. It was a shitty joke and a very creepy statement. But there's no reason to freak out over a total fail fml reference. Just thumb his ass down. Smh
kerr888 0
There has been an uptick in the ding-a-ling population
OrigamiProdigy 0
Dafuq? Did I read that right? Yes, yes I did. That is.... Disturbing.
kingghidorah 10
What the **** is wrong with you?
EyeCeYu 7
I swear kids dont know how to use a lock any more.
SukiIzumi 8
Don't know about you but when I was growing up locking your bedroom door meant losing it haha..
OrigamiProdigy 0
Yes. My dad took off the door and hid it. I don't even know how he managed to hide a door, but he did. Then, when I got it back, I put a "Don't forget to knock" sign on my door.:P
MainPrism 16
Why? Because they want you to keep out unless you knock first? Seems pretty self explanatory i mean most notes dont say PLEASE... I know mine never did lmao
wtvr 2
Ydi for being abnormally stupid
Jawzx01 7
So, the other side of this story should be "coming" soon.
MigraineurOfLife 15
Everyone knows that... Cuz they are baking a cake & don't want it to fall. Silly OP.
fat_snooki_lol 6
Mom!!! I'm cleaning my room!!!
dustbunny10 0
Haha are you the mother of the hardcore **** kid?:P
niklaus1 5
or a jacking off sign like sammy in blue mountain state. at least that way you definitely know NOT to violate the sign
Travis95_fml 8
Maybe you should follow the signs to dumb ****.