Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse, the fact that I now know that she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML
Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML
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Top comments
FML_x2 0
Your mom does the five knuckle shuffle too? O_o
xsydbabyx 0
Sicko?! What the hell? Whas wrong with masturbating? Oh yea but seriously, lock the door.
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Comments (82)
xXxRandiexXx 0
thats just horrible
22cute 17
The TALK is definitely worse.
TryToBeKind 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How old are you? My seven-year-old plays with himself all the time and I just remind him that he needs to do that in private and that he should use lotion so it won't get chapped.
DriDri_fml 0
seven year old?? what the ****! the kids balls haven't even dropped! that shit's not okkey!? and giving tips to the kid, definately not okkey!
Justforlolz 14
#42- Epic Win!!! I LOLed so hard when I read that. I agree though. He's not old enough to have his Whack-A-Thon yet.
lizamaphone 6
fail, 42. kids start doing it when they're pretty little... and they just know it feels good, they don't know what it means.
Feklfekl2222 32
I started feeling down there when I was 6 because I knew it felt kind of nice
PoeSlayer 0
Seriously it's normal and healthy for kids to do that. Ask any proffessional. Know your stuff next time.
Haelous 0
Deserved. Always lock the door. If you don't have a lock, buy one!
relief_fml 0
LOL fornication. p.s. are you from USM?
lexbabes13 0
wtf
thewelshmetal 0
Should of showed her what your little swimmers looked like.
littlepirate_fml 0
Poor you....
cmonbru 0
loool ur so ugly
lwd305 0
49, your such a queer.
abbottizer 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that's what you get for masturbating. sicko
LissaMccracken 23
Everyone does it, and if you say you don't, you're lying
brommwpryl 9
Even... babies!?
Spacecatsattack 5
Maaaaybe I'm going out on a limb here, buuut I'm pretty sure that was sarcasm. If so, well played.
RPM_fml 0
Joe?
RacinJason 0
Ryan? I bet this chick is Canadians, i hear they are all compulsive masterbators.