Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse, the fact that I now know that she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML
Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML
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Top comments
FML_x2 0
Your mom does the five knuckle shuffle too? O_o
xsydbabyx 0
Sicko?! What the hell? Whas wrong with masturbating? Oh yea but seriously, lock the door.
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Comments (82)
Kingbreezy04 10
What a bad ass mom
Guido25897 4
Your MOM does the five knuckle shuffle?! I'm sure you meant she just masturbates but js, poor choice of words there.
insidejokeswithm 0
Masturbation. Read the comments, dude.
Love_that_panda 0
I know a good way to avoid siduations like that; buy a freiking LOCK for your DOOR!
pfx2_fml 15
The **** is wrong with you?
wopandproud 0
Whoever thinks he means wrestling is not very bright or doesn't use google lol
mofran 0
YDI for saying "five knuckle shuffle" . . .
Honda288 2
"Five Knuckle Shuffle" LMFAO. I hear a different saying ever time I open this app.
DeepThinker357 4
What is knuckle shuffling? Never heard of that before.
wanna_bee 8
Five knuckle shuffle Slang (Geordie, Newcastle) Masturbation: The phrase comes from the act of masturbating using the whole hand, wrapping 4 fingers round the shaft of the penis, and the thumb round the other side, hence "five knuckles"