Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out, "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes; she responded with, "Wow, hope I never have to see that." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my crush for the first time since she rejected me and said she was a lesbian. The man she was passionately making out with in the dining hall would state quite the opposite. FML
Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML
Today, my class had a debate about religion. My classmate said that Christians couldn't be circumcised because "only Jewish people are". Without thinking, I said it isn't true because I'm Christian and I’m circumcised. I accidentally gave the whole class a mental picture of my dick. FML
Today, I overheard my crush and his friend talking about girls they would date. When his friend mentioned me, my crush said, “If she wasn’t fat, hell yeah.” Choking back tears at school for the rest of the day was not an easy task. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chrissyj84 2
Someone's picky picky when it comes to uncut dicky.
arienh4 0
I really don't get the fact that so many people in the US are circumsized, nobody does it over here except for religious reasons.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (169)
DMann231 1
uncut dicks.. ew. circumcised ftw!
ihatemylife46 6
it's ok man. when ever a girl see you hard she wont know if it is or isnt curcumsized. im not and no **** but it looks the same as a curcumsized one while hard. just brush it off a get bitches
danaharrison 5
Good, you found out she was shallow before you had to date her. Consider yourself lucky
Starchild2229 12
Don't be ashamed or hurt just know I and many others actually like what you got. My husband got one and I love it :)
The_9th_Doctor 18
what's wrong with uncut
emuexport 4
Dairy dick
PierreAlexandre_fml 8
What's wrong with being uncercumsized???
worldclassrager 41
Cut or uncut it's all the same...and supposedly uncut it more pleasurable
ThomasMercury 11
I thought uncircumcised was normal? In Holland you only get circumcised for medical or religious reasons.
izzyjaspers 12
Why the hell did you say yes?