Today, my class had a debate about religion. My classmate said that Christians couldn't be circumcised because "only Jewish people are". Without thinking, I said it isn't true because I'm Christian and I’m circumcised. I accidentally gave the whole class a mental picture of my dick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in class, I volunteered to read a poem out loud. I accidentally said "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed". I don't think I"ll be volunteering to read anything more. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML
Today, I got roasted in class because I could've swore that the story of Robin Hood was in the Bible. I was so cocksure of myself, but I guess I shouldn't repeat stuff my dad told me for a laugh when I was about 9 years-old, now that I'm in college. FML
Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I'm German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, my teacher laughed at the "irony." Something like this always happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said, "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Own that shit! "It's circumcised, and 9 inches, ladies. And that's when it's flaccid."
sourgirl101 29
Paul of Tarsus changed many of the criteria rules. Guess he knew that more people would convert to christianity if they were no longer “required” to cut part of their penises off. Plus he knew people loved bacon.
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Comments (13)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Own that shit! "It's circumcised, and 9 inches, ladies. And that's when it's flaccid."
ChromoTec 24
I though it was Jewish people who weren't circumcized
BurnInDemonFire 39
It depends. Some do, some don't. But a brit milah is a ceremony for the removal of the foreskin on a baby Jewish boy.
PenguinPal3017 19
This is one of the most ignorant things I've ever heard on here.
Hoeksche 10
i thought only muslims were circumcised
easygoing765 3
That’s true! I was reading this and was like uhhhh you’re gonna fail your class 😂😂
sourgirl101 29
Paul of Tarsus changed many of the criteria rules. Guess he knew that more people would convert to christianity if they were no longer “required” to cut part of their penises off. Plus he knew people loved bacon.
RichardPencil 32
Luckily for everyone it wasn’t Show-and-Tell Day!
Notamusedanymore 17
Sounds like someone’s bragging about their dick.
Justin Allan Bannister 9
it doesn't matter. Sometimes guys are circumcised for health reasons.
Psychonaut77 5
Should have made your username "Big Dick Bigger Mouth", OP. Unless that's not your situation down there, I guess.
sunnyray812 42
I feel you, OP. I also have a bad habit of saying things without thinking first. Happened to me last night, only through text instead. 😕 It's like our mouths work faster than our brains. Hopefully, they'll eventually put it in the back of their minds.
mattyiscool123 26
Not necessarily, everybody for the most part knows what a dick looks like.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
It's okay, most guys are circumcised regardless of religion. Besides, once you've seen one dick, you've pretty much seen them all. lol
Hoeksche 10
not true, i do not know anyone who is circumcised, its really rare...
BurnInDemonFire 39
May I introduce you to the OP?
meghang220 14
Depends where you are from... I’ve personally only seen one uncircumcised penis so being circumcised is VERY common where I’m from(NJ, USA)