Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sat next to my crush in class in a very loose, low-hanging shirt in the front (my mother had made me wear it, I didn't want to), and I felt so giddy because he kept staring at me in shock. No, not because I'm so beautiful, but because my boobs were hanging out. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, I was walking on the beach when I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other, I smiled and waved, and as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML
Today, I tried to use a corny pickup line on my crush, but my mind blanked and instead of, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" I blurted, "Did you fall?" He just stared at me and said, "What?" FML
Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML
Today, I went to the store in the most awful looking pyjamas possible, ran into my crush, and he looked at me up and down and laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I'd only shaved one armpit. FML
Today, I finally told my crush I liked him. He smiled and said, “That’s sweet, but I thought you knew I was seeing someone.” I laughed awkwardly and said, “Of course, I was just joking!” Then I immediately tripped over my own bag while leaving. FML
Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML
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Top comments
tj265 0
gotta be straight up with guys we dont catch hints easy lol
you_freak 7
That is the worst bout of hinting I have ever heard! As for the guy ... WIN!
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Comments (218)
tj265 0
gotta be straight up with guys we dont catch hints easy lol
6969awesome 0
I would like to direct everyones attention to my profile picture you will notice it is the water, three ducks and a smiling sun. thank you :)
PurplePeeps 0
Go away.
White_Fury 0
23 I could not stop laughing at your profile pic. hahahhaha wiiiin!
sexybeastsexybea 0
haha me and my friends always "molest" each other. *awkward silence*
tttiffany 0
I like the picture. I like the name more. Guys just don't think things through as much as us girls do. We sometimes expect guys to know exactly what's going through our heads. If any other girls think I'm 'speaking for myself', then you're just fos. I'm right.
Sheepish 0
lol'd so hard at 23's pic.
swimmerstud 7
oh yes a donkeys dick. what a delight :|
Qluz 3
duck>donkey
SupKev 0
i dont get it?
Alpha35 4
Haha ur fat OP... HAHA.... HAHA.... HAHA.......... HAHA........ im srry i shouldn't be laughing...... HAHA
11colio11 4
ydi for putting donuts in your blu ray player
chetchatter 5
lol totally agreed #1
BBYTigger 0
ur a dick nose u retard
BBYTigger 0
I'm Srry I meant 230
docscientist 10
It's not that we don't get the hints, but that we recognize and humorously defy.
BBYTigger 0
I meant 130* ur an asshole
msapp2 0
your completly right. happens all the time. guys cant read minds and we shouldnt be expected to.
muffpuncher 0
#14 is awesome.
jimsy19 0
u got that off YouTube black ops u liar and faker
dantheman1988 0
wrong. guys are better at thinking through things than girls are. thats why there are more male engineers than female. what guys dont do is beat around the bush like cowardly women do.
macskapingvin 0
Why beat around the bush when you can dive straight in.
jrgr 6
OMG I love your picture!(: ^
monarchy123 1
179 is single. :)
Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0
14 good job copying someone elses creativity. yea we know it's from YouTube
fmlman44 5
u stole that from Kevin1811 he says that in his video on YouTube
hatepineapple 14
Screw that. If you want to know how you look, ask us. Fishing for pity is pathetic.
abc123cimsmart 3
She deserved it......... For being fat!
I_R_Genius 3
AHAHA that is funny it's a sign to lose some weight OP. Take his advice OP and lose some weight then you may have a "chance."
BBYTigger 0
that's disgusting u jerk
Mister_Grinch 0
The fact that women like her fish for compliments shows how needy and insecure she is. Pathetic...
vb68_fml 28
Actually you are pathetic by judging her
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's terrible! I'm sorry OP. He's a jerk and you need to, unless you haven't already, forget about him.
unidentified_sta 5
Not really, OP was just lame in conversing and was just setting herself up. She was playing herself out as insecure and setting up a context for a fat joke.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
Maybe so, but who in this world doesn't fish for compliments? Think about it.
unidentified_sta 5
But fishing for compliments is risky as you may look lame as hell. Regardless, OP needs to show some confidence around her crush. Being insecure sure as hell isn't impressive.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
35- Exactly. Guys probably don't as much as girls, but everyone needs reassurance that they are attractive.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
38- True, but girls will be girls :) I know I do the same, maybe not as obvious, but I like to know if a guy is digging me.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
44- Preach it.
unidentified_sta 5
I'm naive/clueless in this field, I'll be curbing back on any definitive statements. Cryptic.
tttiffany 0
Women just sensitive bitches. Men are blunt assholes. Lady Gaga is a sensitive asshole. Sensitive asshole. I lauged. God, I'm hilarious.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
48- Hmm good point. This is where girls and guys differ, among other things of course. But us girls always tell a friend they look good, regardless if they do or not (I'm not big on that myself, but most girls are), while you guys are TOO truthful. To a point where it is rude.. I'm not saying all of you, but most.
tttiffany 0
I swear I meant to put "just" instead of "are". I'm a sensitive bitch who loves attention. ;)
tttiffany 0
48 - remember that saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"? That cheesy-ass saying looks like it applies well in this situation.
ohthebloodygore 16
I agree with the guys on this one. Stop hinting around. Then at times some girls don't say it to expect a compliment... and once the compliment is given the girl starts thinking the guy likes her, when she doesn't like him. Or she's happy he likes her, but he really doesn't. See? All drama!
FFML_314 12
Women are too sensitive? No, people in general are too sensitive and whiny.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
Everyone in the world should just date online. Then, all this would be avoided and life would be simpler. That's what FML.com is for, isn't it?
ohthebloodygore 16
Aria, couldn't have said it better myself. Bitches whine too much nowadays. That's right, I cursed.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
74- Haha are you looking?
FFML_314 12
79, are you offering?
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
82- Not at all! Hahaha my whole post was sarcastic.
ohthebloodygore 16
This is EXACTLY what I meant by hinting. Thank you for giving examples, you bloody idiots.
tttiffany 0
90 - win.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
90- Who's hinting?
ohthebloodygore 16
96, hinting being that yours could have been taken as a hint, which he took as and got confused.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
103- Ohmy, I'm confused myself. I didn't mean it in a hinting fashion at all. Sarcasm.
unidentified_sta 5
And the pieces fall into place. E-girlfriends? Lets not get desperate.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
104- Haha I just can't control myself... must... not succumb...
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
109- I find it most amusing, finding messages in my inbox from men... and occasionally boys, wanting to date online. I have a feeling that is a common occurrence on this site.
unidentified_sta 5
I wonder if they've been single all their life like me? I dunno, that still hasn't propelled me to hit on anyone or you.
tttiffany 0
Not for me! I think I intimidate them with my greatness. Oh, yes. that is it.
unidentified_sta 5
Well you've got confidence, that is a good trait. Well done, better standing than the OP.
soldier4life_88 0
I believe dating online is just a bit creepy... friendship online is ok nothing wrong with that.. but online dating... not a good idea!!!
BBYTigger 0
104 get over urself u need a life seriously.
BahahahLOL 0
****. that is all.
emilybaby2012 0
tizzy = sexyy ;)<3
zeeindahouse 0
yeah not even a man with 200 IQ can catch what u mean
heathhawksrock 0
haha that suck
dramaa 0
ydi
tttiffany 0
there's a button for that.
Zmeilerr 22
There's an app for that.
ohthebloodygore 16
There's a 'You're an idiot.' comment for you.
Alpha35 4
tttiffanny ur hair is so fucken weird...... please change it ... i don't care what u have to say about me... but change that damn hair to straight
FFML_314 12
Alpha, you are a complete douche. Go die.
BBYTigger 0
alpha ur the ugliest fag I have ever seen get over ur self
BBYTigger 0
ur the ugliest fag I have ever seen go get a life u douche
yazmi_09 3
alpha you have a douchey duck face thin going on that gives me a trong desire to just punch you in your dumb puckered up mouth
cdatribe23 0
friends haha gotta love em
timskiii 0
HAHA!! sorry op this is so full of win :D
LosAngelesSon 8
Agreed ^ Yet another boy win on a girls bad choice of approach. Fu** it. Shit happens(;
ruby84 1
you asked for it
BahahahLOL 0
Hit the gym, tubby.