Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out, "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes; she responded with, "Wow, hope I never have to see that." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my crush for the first time since she rejected me and said she was a lesbian. The man she was passionately making out with in the dining hall would state quite the opposite. FML
Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML
Today, my class had a debate about religion. My classmate said that Christians couldn't be circumcised because "only Jewish people are". Without thinking, I said it isn't true because I'm Christian and I’m circumcised. I accidentally gave the whole class a mental picture of my dick. FML
Today, I overheard my crush and his friend talking about girls they would date. When his friend mentioned me, my crush said, “If she wasn’t fat, hell yeah.” Choking back tears at school for the rest of the day was not an easy task. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML
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Top comments
chrissyj84 2
Someone's picky picky when it comes to uncut dicky.
arienh4 0
I really don't get the fact that so many people in the US are circumsized, nobody does it over here except for religious reasons.
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Comments (169)
ojosverdes26 6
CUT DICKS FTW! MMM... I love my fiancé's. Soooo nice! =D
Superawesomestev 0
you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. she is conceded, and you don't want to be with a girl like that. no fml.
booze_n_bitches 37
Conceited?
kukopia 0
Phtttt Tell her it's a condom you already put on.
JassyJas 2
Today, I found out the guy I have a crush on has an uncercumsized dick. I told him I wish I never see that. I was lying to look cool but he didn't know. FML
awesomeman10 6
Your a complete dumbass
blah123blah 0
and how does your friend know about this.
ninjb 0
probably showers after gym, i don't know.
jagd 0
butt buddies
miss_lovely22 0
umm, why are you complaining?? uncut dicks are SO much more fun to play with ;) hahahaa
newmandotcom 6
I happen to be uncut....
Headcrab 29
we seem to have an expert in our midst
FromCFL 0
YDI for having dick friends and for crushing on a 10-year-old who knows nothing about dicks.
Fuk_My_Life 0
FML POLL!!! Do you prefer a circumcized penis to an uncircumsized?
idkwhyxD 5
always uncircumcised..
Njtorres 0
FACT: only slutty woman care about that kind of stuff ......so don't worry and be happy =D
kukopia 0
Ummm... actually... ***** really do NOT care. I guess it's part of the **** code.
perdix 31
Jake, if you want to get with that girl, go get circumcised. I'll tell you, I had it done as a baby, and I couldn't walk for about a year and a half!
omghehehe 0
hahahaha
Chocolate_Chunk 2
I bet you were so upset about it, you diddn't even know what to say!
buzzkiller123 4
You Sound so stupid.