Today, my Kung Fu-trained father found out that my boyfriend, a Krav Maga student, got me pregnant. Since I'm only 17, my dad got extremely mad. Several broken bones and a few ambulances later, it looks like a Steven Seagal movie happened in my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s ex found out I was pregnant. Her logical response was to have her teenage sons jump him as he was coming home from work. Now we’re filling out a police report instead of our baby registry. FML
Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML
Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML
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Top comments
Kimberly Parker 6
17 is above the age of consent in most states, so your dad,is just guilty of assault. Also at 17 he didnt get you pregnant as y'all got pregnant together. Use active words, you both are responsible for this.
mssileas 25
Lovely. Because obviously what every teen pregnancy needs is a father in jail and a boyfriend in a full body cast.
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Comments (29)
Kimberly Parker 6
17 is above the age of consent in most states, so your dad,is just guilty of assault. Also at 17 he didnt get you pregnant as y'all got pregnant together. Use active words, you both are responsible for this.
jbuckets_404 39
Actually, OP doesn't live in the states, but the UK. And no, I'm not conversant on their age(s) of consent. But suffice to say, while it's certainly understandable for Dad to get a "little miffed" at his certainly-no-longer-as-pure-as-the-driven-snow daughter who's still in high school (presumably), violence is never an acceptable response (except obviously as a last resort in nation-state defense of self-preservation). However, said daughter (and BF) did themselves no favors getting collectively "knocked-up" at such a young age. Their lives will certainly be a "bit more challenging" than otherwise necessary for the next 18+ years. Or as they might be more apt to say ("old-school") in the UK: In a bit of a sticky wicket, dear ol' Chap.... Good luck, OP to you & yours! :-)
Leeono 26
Age on consent is 16 in the uk. So yeah they have maybe started a bit early but dad is out of line on this one.
mssileas 25
Lovely. Because obviously what every teen pregnancy needs is a father in jail and a boyfriend in a full body cast.
stormy0307 16
I’m assuming the Krav Maga boyfriend came out on top of that one.
kfchicken 31
you're assuming a teen beat a full grown trained angry man?
jbuckets_404 39
Not necessarily; Dad's described as being a Kung Fu-trained(!) adult while BF is still only a Krav Maga student/ teenager (?), a seemingly-disparate, significant difference in skill levels at first glance. (Or is that "strike?")
Mathalamus 25
So... who won?
Yudith 28
Master vs student, I'm pretty sure the father won.
jbuckets_404 39
Actually, in this case: none of the four did - so to speak.... :-(
TheMazedammit 4
well?? who won?
jbuckets_404 39
Actually, in this case: none of the four did - so to speak.... :-(
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
did it end in a draw
jbuckets_404 39
No, actually; all four ended up on the losing side - so to speak.... :-(
loopsy_fml 14
that would still be a draw
protoskore 27
yeah but who won?
jbuckets_404 39
Actually, in this case: none of the four did - so to speak.... :-(
alycion 39
So, let me get this straight, in your opinion, they all lost?
reborne 9
Your boyfriend might be younger, but your Dad is the one who needs to grow up and learn how to deal with situations like an adult - did beating him up get you un-pregnant? I honestly hope you live somewhere where the police can press charges without the victims consent.
tounces7 28
I wouldn't give the dad ideas. He might just beat her up and actually get her "un-pregnant". He sounds like an unstable raging mess.
lowshadows 21
who's Steven Segal?
jbuckets_404 39
Touche! Or as Sheldon would say, "Zing!" LOL! [You Sir, phrased that perfectly correct - in more ways than one. Lol Too bad us older viewers can't forget S.S. just as easily as that at times.... ;-)]
QueenSaru 28
HDU. Under Siege is a national treasure.
blondie45 21
Sheldon actually says “bazinga”!
Sinshine 28
Anyone who uses martial arts for anything but self defense needs to be locked away. That actually counts as shaky with a dangerous weapon here - for good reason. And anyone whose first action is too use physical violence is pathetic anyway. Good luck with your family situation and congrats for the pregnancy, though.
xxWTFxx1981 23
Wait... I just want to know who won? did they both equally whip each other?