Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML
Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML
Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. Now it's melting. FML
Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
Today, I'm super sick with a sinus infection and delirious from a lack of sleep and all the meds. When I walked into math class, a boy asked if he could sit next to me. In my head I tried to say, "This is college you have the freedom to sit anywhere you want." All that came out was, "Freedom… everywhere." FML
Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML
Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
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Top comments
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
For some reason, I pictured Luna Lovegood saying it.
SephoraGypsy 15
"There's herpes in the air today." *Awkard silence.* "I hope they have pudding." *Hops off ledge, skips away." Scene.
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Comments (111)
kzxvazure 0
that is one weird girl
KM96 24
What the hell is that supposed to mean?! Isn't she a beautiful day ruiner?
ohSNAPyall 27
Lots of people take snow days as a chance to bundle up and get cozy. (Birth rates go up nine months after blizzards!) As a college campus, most people aren't married yet... If you're having multiple partners, you're more likely to catch an STD... Herpes is a common STD.
PYLrulz 17
59 - now that you put it that way, the FML makes a LOT more sense
ohSNAPyall 27
Snow day = lots of people bundling up and gettin cozy. (Birth rates shoot up 9 months after blizzards!) On campus, most people are unmarried and so may have multiple partners, making STI's more likely. Herpes is a common STI.
ohSNAPyall 27
Whoops, sorry for the double post. My comment had disappeared. Peace out yo.
kzxvazure 0
that's one weird girl.
zandalee 20
Not really a FML tho huh?!
ladyLALAA 29
Herpes is like the glitter of the craft world, once you get it you think it's gone but you keep finding traces...
iFizzgig 11
Glitter is like the herpes of the craft world* who the hell does crafts with herpes?
ghostlilac 25
*Herpes is the glitter of the STD world (?)
Torva_fml 16
35, I think you're right. :) not sure why people are thumbing you down. Lol.
DCFan 9
35- Is that a serious question? I hope you realize that you are going to catch so much shit from the FML community... Starting with me: How about you actually read the comment before trying to be the cool guy and make an argument out of nothing, which backfires, and leaves you looking like a complete jackass. Who's next?
micahsmommy 13
35, 56, &60: Did you not learn what a simile is in English class? No okay, here's your grammar lesson for the day. A simile is when you compare two different nouns to each other using the words like or as. See # 35's comment for an appropriate example.
micahsmommy 13
Edit: #28's comment.
mandak1982 3
Actually it's not a simile. A simile is two different words that mean the same thing. The word you're looking for is analogy.
saksxalmo 20
#128, that's a synonym. #85's definition is correct. I guess you could say that a simile is a kind of analogy, but it's definitely not the same thing as a synonym.
evig_fml 16
You know # 60's was a metaphor, which in my opinion is a much more grammatically advanced way of making a simile
saksxalmo 20
#155-- Metaphors don't "make" similes... And how is that more grammatically advanced? I can see how it's more poetic, though. Even when referring to herpes. :)
worlds123dumbest 4
128- WRONG. Similes compare two different things. Example: The snow twirled and swirled as a dancer performing on state. A synonym is two words with the same definition. Example: make has the same definition as frabricate does. An analogy is sort of like a simile but. not really. A pillow is to cotton as a blanket is to warmth. These examples are not my best work but they can pass as okay.
worlds123dumbest 4
*stage. Not state. Curse you, auto-correct. You have failed me once again!
illabye 0
We have different views on what's beautiful I guess XD
immaMonsta 8
That's when you just get up and walk away from that weird girl.
rudegirlmania 10
What?? No!! That's Luna Lovegood IRL!
jonn090 13
That girl wants the dick
ClosetTroll 10
OP's a shemale?
Lifes_a_bust 0
Run.
I_heart_sex 1
She may be speaking from experience.
adzz90 16
Get sum air freshener out
bugmenotmofo 34
What's that going to do.