Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML
Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML
Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. Now it's melting. FML
Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
Today, I'm super sick with a sinus infection and delirious from a lack of sleep and all the meds. When I walked into math class, a boy asked if he could sit next to me. In my head I tried to say, "This is college you have the freedom to sit anywhere you want." All that came out was, "Freedom… everywhere." FML
Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML
Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
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Top comments
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
For some reason, I pictured Luna Lovegood saying it.
SephoraGypsy 15
"There's herpes in the air today." *Awkard silence.* "I hope they have pudding." *Hops off ledge, skips away." Scene.
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Comments (111)
xIBleedPurplex16 0
Kim kardashian was there?
gelfx 1
failboat you're the captain. the correct response, "nice, is it yours?"
vbmg152 19
What??
kurofuchs 5
I love this girl! She seems to have chosen the creepiest phrase to suggest that lotsa people get busy when it's snowy and cold. Snuggle weather and all that.
SpicyDuck 22
Are you sure she didn't say happiness?
MyssMarsh 11
Haha, that would make more sense.
KiddNYC1O 22
Lovely indeed.
happymom2g 0
OMG, marry her. You will never be board. That's some funny shit right there, I don't care who you are! Lol
william8691 10
U should probably get a gas mask
sparty12 2
@#6 same here!
linkinpark98 24
LOL! My friend said the same exact thing to me a couple of weeks ago. I did not know how to respond. :/
eccentrix 12
Wow, what?