Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML
Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML
Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. Now it's melting. FML
Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
Today, I'm super sick with a sinus infection and delirious from a lack of sleep and all the meds. When I walked into math class, a boy asked if he could sit next to me. In my head I tried to say, "This is college you have the freedom to sit anywhere you want." All that came out was, "Freedom… everywhere." FML
Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML
Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
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Top comments
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
For some reason, I pictured Luna Lovegood saying it.
SephoraGypsy 15
"There's herpes in the air today." *Awkard silence.* "I hope they have pudding." *Hops off ledge, skips away." Scene.
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Comments (111)
nofearjenshere 12
I just imagine her breathing in the air deeply, saying that, and then smiling creepily.
KunoKanashimi 3
Yeah...That makes perfect sense...
ycrem0n 21
Snow is actually frozen love juices falling from people making out in clouds.
Torva_fml 16
Your picture... Was my reaction.
boundbytheanimus 9
What if she was actually some sort of soothsayer and she wanted to warn you of what was to come?
mrz1177 11
I'm guessing her remark was followed with an awkward silence and you saying "more likely aids"....?
BountyBass 13
Or gets too much of it
br0ccoli 15
I bet she's an exchange student and some douche told her that 'herpes' actually meant 'love' or 'magic' or something of that nature.
Laurenlou 24
Actually, most exchange students know more proper English then people from the US. Not to say that all of them know perfect English and that your theory is incorrect; but just pointing this out!
geon_olam 17
63 they probably speak and write better English *THAN you.
Laurenlou 24
136- Haha the way I pronounce "than" makes it sound like "then." I'm actually very good with proper English, but I DO make mistakes. That is one of my mistakes. Forgive me. :P
evig_fml 16
151- no...
Devin91 20
She sounds so attractive
DocBastard 40
Herpes is aerosolised now? Shit, we're all doomed! I always KNEW that Paris Hilton and Snooki would cause the downfall of society.
Torva_fml 16
Hey now! That wasn't mean enough...... Step up your game! I expect better comments if you're going to talk about.... It....
mikeymayhem_87 15
Don't forget about Lindsay Lohan too!!
DocBastard 40
I almost included Miss Lohan, but she was SO HOT once, as opposed to the other two. I still have hopes of a hotness comeback for her. *sigh*
Pigeon89 34
She had a hotness comeback in machete (2010) to be fair to her
krysxkatastrophe 14
I see where she's coming from.....kinda. If glitter is the herpes of the art world, snow must be the herpes of weather?